The story I liked best that I wrote before I started Long Ridge, the story of Thomas and his death which I called Ignorant Bliss, is a mess right now. The focus doesn’t remain on Thomas at certain points and confuses the reader a bit, you don’t know certain facts until too late in the…
Month: September 2003
Legging it out – shrinking it down
To talk about today before last night, I just had another physical therapy session where I surprised myself with leg strength. Oh, I am no where near where I would hope to be, but I’m happy with the results. For those not in the know, and I haven’t talked about it too much on here,…
Wordsmith
I’ve been pressing myself to write today. I mean, I started with the “Peter’s Problem” story but I actually decided to put that on ice for now until I have the next urge. I started going back to other manuscripts that I started writing in the past and trying to finish those stories up –…
"Inspired by a True Story"
When you meet a writer online and he can notice that you’ve got something worth re-telling, interesting things happen.
Windows and waiting for what…?
I got up early again today – I’ve been waking up early most of the weak and staying in bed until Ir eally have to get my ass in gear. Half of the time I lie there thinking of what i have to do for the day and that gets me going at one point…
Eh?
You are Trinity, from “The Matrix.”Strong, beautiful- you epitomize the ultimateheroine. What Matrix Persona Are You? brought to you by Quizilla Well, that’s nice… I’m a heroine. Strange that several of my stories for class have been with women as the lead character as well… Well, I woudl think that Trinity embodies / personifies the…
Hold Me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me
So I forgot to bring up Thursday Night and what I was up to to keep myself busy but not keep my mind off problems entirely… Michelle and Josh came around. They had both stopped by during my hospital stint and were a refreshing change of pace from the day to day. We just watched…
It's in the lyrics
I’m not down… just these lyrics do mean a lot to me and it’s strange how they mirror my life now… Help! (Lennon/McCartney) Help! I need somebody, Help! Not just anybody, Help! You know I need someone. Help….! When I was younger, so much younger than today, I never needed anybody’s help in any way…
The more things change, the more they stay the same
Those words can be used for a lot of different topics right now but I only have one topic right now that I am going to use that phrase for…. Southpark: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut You know, when this movie came out – it was a censorship battle between the MPAA and Trey Parker/ Matt…
Just a little taste
I’m going to give you folks (my readers) a little chance to read a piece of that story (32 pages) that I am writing. if you’re interested in more – please say so… Click on the below link to check out the lead to the story.
Der Long Ridge
So you can see I was frustrated before — well, not frustrated per-se but I mean I was just a bit intimidated by it all — as I was reading through one of the books assigned to me through my writing course (The Best of the Magazine Markets 2003 edition) as part of Assignment 5……
Research
Researching writing markets… blah! Sadly and sardonicly ironic discoveries during research – double blah! *grumble grumble* Distractionless research – triple blah! *grumble, grumble… grrrr*
The FAT of the Land
I’ve been putting off this journal entry – might be something I’ll put on the KilltheWeb.com blog in the future but I don’t know right now… I was flipping through Sports Illustrated and it’s current issue with Mia Hamm on the cover and got to Rick Reilly’s Op/Ed piece that is stuck on the last…
It always gets worse before it gets better
Just when I thought things were getting better with me – emotionally at least — I get hit hard with things again. I hate being right. I hate being considered a know-it-all and dismissed. I hate being brushed off and having to live with the consequences of their decisions. I’m being obtuse in my explanation…
I CAN'T LOOK! I CAN'T LOOK!!!
Anyone who knows me knows I love the Buccaneers — or did love the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Maybe they were hapless in yesterday, maybe they were oh-so-close and that’s why I loved them. Right now I can’t bring myself to love them, or even watch them for that matter. On this first day of Autumn…
Spanglish
No soy nada. No tengo nada. No sé nada. Sé lo que deseo. Sé mis necesidades. Sé lo que deseo. No sé nada. Soy cuáles soy. Soy lo que amo. Soy lo que necesito. No soy nada. Tengo deseo. Tengo sensaciones. Tengo necesidades. No tengo nada. Soy un perdedor y ésta es mi vida No…
The future is uncertain and the end always near
I will find no rest here. I heard her voice inside my head…. She said to me, even now, there is hope left, but I cannot see it. It is long since we had any hope. My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing, and our people lose faith — Boromir (Sean…
I Will
Back a few years ago, I went ahead and bought The White Album (this was before I lost my hearing) and tried to make heads and tails of it. It was a lot of songs I had never heard before and some of them to this day I have not heard. My main reason for…
Faith
I don’t know if I should be writing about this topic or not because I am not the best guy to go to when it comes to Faith in things. But at the same time I need to at least express my thought son the subject and my own search for it. Now, what is…
Good day / Bad day
It’s funny how things can go good and go bad at the same time…. It’s funny how you are forced to live life as a groveling idiot in the Fontana household or have others make yourself feel like trash through their actions and they don’t seem to even acknowledge that. Or your lack of abilities…
Accomplishments?
So it’;s Tuesday and I’m afraid to say I didn’t accomplish much today — though I had a productive therapy session with my therapist Bob. My mind kept going back a few steps and telling me “OK, you should move on and do that next” and yet I never brought myself to doing just what…
Counting down
You know, i’ve made no mention of this — Only 22 more days until my birthday. Those shopping days are counting down to a precious few!
5 Senses
5 Senses Taste – The words – The longing – The emotion Feel – The flavor – The Memory – The Realization See – The sweet nothings – The touched – The aching for more Smell – The Love – The romance – The desire Hear – Her perfume in the wind – The kiss…
More questions than answers
It’s funny sometimes where you seem to find a path – or get on a set course and there are more questions than answers and you can’t get the answers until the powers that be give them to you. The powers that be might be a colleague, a lover, a boss, God, your brother, Family……
Tempting Fate
And in the end, the love you make Is equal to the love you take… “Say no more.” “I can say no more….”
Yuck-aneers
I’m angry — the Bucs just played the worst game I have seen them play since the early 1990’s. Too many penalties, no real fire in them… 12-9 the final. One word: UGLY
Slow Day
This was a day of surprise and un-accomplishments. A day of procrastination and aggravation along with laziness and hope. It was a day of knowing what i have to accomplish and not going out and doing it — you can be shown the door, shown the path, but only you can walk it through. I…
Small Town Clique
Hey..it’s Sarah again…I just need to blow some steam tonight, so I’m very greatful to John to allow me to write on here when I want. Thank you John. So…here’s my steam.. I spent my entire childhood and teen years dealing with cliques. There were the popular girls, the smart-suck-up girls, the drug addicts, and…
My old "buddies" strike again
Well, well, well… So much as for writing an entry about faith in this space at this time… Something else came up and I thought it was worthy of a posting. I have some old friends that are in the news again and up to their old antics. “Old friends” you ask? Surely you have…
Just Dean-dy
I’ll try to get another entry in before midnight but I make no promises. My day has been short and mostly uneventful sans medical problems and conversations… I wanted to spread The Word. No, John still hasn’t found religion or Faith (note to self – that is what you should write about later, faith) but…
Humility
This entry has a dual purpose because there’s an anecdote from the hospital that I’ve failed to report in here and there was something that happened today (that I already bitched to someone about) that just really made me feel like less than I do already. Lets go back to the Hospital and my immediate…
9-11
The morning of 9-11-01 I was sorta groggy — I had been nursing several Smirnoff Ice’s the night before and writing out several pages of a story that just shot the shit — it was my first real great creative writing attempt in a while and I had the notion to continue writing on September…
Mourn or Move on
I’m conflicted about tomorrow. Not conflicted as-so-much I don’t buy into the big thing a lot of the media will make tomorrow out to be… A day of sadness, a day of mourning, a day of recollection, a day of worry, etc. 9-11 was a tragedy and the United States is doing a lackluster job…
In one ear and out the other
It’s odd how many thoughts I had ready to jot down as a journal entry last night as I was enshrouded by insomnia — politics, random babble, defense of insecurities, attacking paranoia’s, etc, etc, etc…. And all of them have fallen out of my head and become chewing gum on the sidewalk of life —…
The War begins
It’s just past 6 minutes into the Buccaneers vs. Philadelphia Eagles game at Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia and I can’t believe the hype coming from the locals and from the national media — it feels like the NFC Title game all over again, yet I doubt a mad contingent will flock to Raymond James…
Better day
I can’t say much more than that – I decided to get off my ass and stop being so lethargetic — with thanks to two things n particular – people and the end of movies about faith. THanks Sarah. Thanks Signs Now if my day was more productive, maybe it would have earned a real…
Struggling
I really didn’t expect to be on here at all today from how my morning started and dragged on. I was very depressed along with not feeling great. I’m still extremely lethargetic and not very interested in doing anything in particular…. I had a grim morning – as I said – with my mind nit-picking…
Bad shape day
Today I got to know how bad I am right now. I got to see my body operating on it’s own without many things to save me. I’ve fallen, tripped, drugged myself too much, or too little – take yoru pick. I’ve let my sorrows get me to nit-pick issues I shouldn’t and torture myself…
Anecdotes from a hospital-based boytoy
Ah, the journal… Now if only I could start writing like a human being again. I’ve found out that I am typing mistakes more often and using incomplete sentences more often because I’ve been stuck on the T900 pager the last week and keeping things tied into my friends online through that. There’s so much…
Back to the Wall with the Sword in the hand…
Aye, lads and lasses, John is home… Thank you so much, Sarah, for a few days of entries — I really didn’t want the site to turn to silence for a few days without me around, it just didn’t feel like a good precedence to set if I had it happen. There’s a lot to…
Six Flags Water Park
I was healthy enough to go to the wonderful Six Flags St. Louis park today, so I woke up at 8 am to my stereo. The week before I moved in, there was a blackout because a transformer had a problem. Today they were fixing the problem, and they pre-warned us that the power would…