Month: January 2005

 

God Bless You

Despite the fact they are factually wrong with why we mutter blessings to people who sneeze (it was a habit started during the great plagues in Europe), Penny Arcade happens to get me in stiches once again (boy, you can see that in text, can’t you?) with one of their recent comics.

Bye Bye T900, hello Ogo

Well, after sending the T900 TalkAbout back to who it belonged to, I was hit pretty hard with wondering “What now”with regards to my wireless future. Should I go out and just get another T900? Should I look into something else like the Danger Sidekick II from T-Mobile? Or was there a cheeper and simpleer solution out htere that was an upgrade of the T900 and yet wasn’t filled with too many add ons, mediocre service and foreign support.

That’s about when I went into 7-11 and was introduced to AT&T Wireless (now Cingular) and their Ogo messenger.

It’s not the neat little small device that I am used to with the T900… but then again it isn’t limited to just sending emails / text messages at 1 message per 500 Characters. It does Pop3 email, it also can be configured to get both AOL IM messages and Yahoo messages so you can chat realtime depending on how your strong your signal is.

While it’s not a cell phone and certainly isn’t for those who rely on the phone – it fills a niche with me.

Maybe it's the full moon

Nothing went right yesterday… I don’t want to get into it but nothing went right…. If I had found a gun and put it to my head, it would have been empty…. If I tossed that gun away, it would have gone off (see also Akroyd, Dan in Trading Places)….

Maybe it’s the full moon or maybe it’s just the fact that any positive things in my life are non existent?

One of THOSE days

It’s one of those days….

A day where I feel trapped and like everything in the world is wrong. A day where I try to rock the boat and I have people complaining that I need to change myself and it’s not their problem if they treat me like I am 8 inches tall.

It’s one of those days where it feels no one wants anything to do with me… One of those days where I can’t get out because of injury and not because of conditions (I love the cold).

It’s one of those days….

…and I’m tired of it.

In Search of

I need a date for a wedding.

Michelle and Josh are tying the knot on the day b efore Valentines (Bill’s birthday in fact) and of corus ei am invited which is great but at the same time — going alone is not something I want to do.

And yet candidates to go to the wedding with me – friends or more – are few and far between. Some people have tread on that friendship with me and I’d be reaching down to ask her to go. Others are either too far or just might feel too awkward to go. Of coruse, me not even asking and jumping to conclusions makes things worse than they are.

But then again, it’d be easier if I knew exactly who to ask and wasn’t just takign them as a friend…. But seeing I’m not in arelationship and not nearly in one… it’ll be just friends for this thing.

Just another reason to be Cynical

Tarpon Springs — at 6:55 this morning, about 12 hours after proceedings started — approved Wal-Mart along the Anclote River.

8 people lobbied for Wal Mart at this meeting. 400+ were in attendance to voice displeasure about Wal Mart. Wal-Mart had paid employees — being paid for there time at the meeting — in attendance as well.

Fine day for Democracy and Capitalism, don’t you think? A day where the majority is ignored for the almighty dollar and sound logic is ignored for the sake of the city tax base.

A pox on you, Tarpon Springs City Counsel.

Go ahead and Email the city and give them a warm, gracious congratulations — or spout off at them as I did.

And a Time to every Purpose

A Time to Every Purpose….

A time to every purpose
Except this ongoing circus
Of fear and fate, malignant deeds,
Sore for sight eyes and tumbleweeds

Been mislead in all directions
Vote’s been voided in all elections

Lacking course
Searching for a sign
Or a loving hand to help me by

And suppose my purpose never comes?
Or even worse — it never was?
Falling down a flight of stairs
Life’s reasons are never what they seem

Lonliness is what I fear
Reasonless is what draws near
…And a time to every purpose
Except my own

© 2005 John Fontana

Your own personal Yoda

She says I do it willingly and to an extent, I do.

Not being in a relationship, still trying to find someone who appeals to me and attracts me (futile, I know) , I’m putting myself through the wringer listening to other girls I am friends with talking about their boyfriends or talking to me about their girlfriends or talking to me about some other type of personal problem… And I give advice and what not.

Trying to make someone else happy while I’m not. Oh well.

But the thing is, in some instances, I feel so good at what I’m doing. Telling a friend not to hurt herself because she’s hurting her at-a-distance boyfriend by doing so. Telling another girl not to dwell on a jerk from Match.com who kissed her and then put her on ignore on AOL IM. Then there’s Melanie talking about things with hubby and Terra talking about things with Matt and with baby and….

And John puts himself into it all because John doesn’t have someone to put himself into emotionally.

Does it fill a void? No, not really… I can’t say it’s good or bad for me either… Time will tell, I’m thinking this is just a phase so I’ll be back to goofy-John instead of wanna-be-Yoda John who tries to come off all knowing and wise.

“Do or do not, there is no try….”

The sad thing was….

Terra found out she’s having a boy, as you know, and I gave her congrats on here. We haven’t talked much since but she also ran past me how she wants to name him:

terracassiday: so do u like Aidan Reese Linder?

terracassiday: or Aiden whichever

Stonegauge: Did you get Aiden from Sex and the City?

terracassiday: nope

terracassiday: just a really irish name

Stonegauge: I like the name BUT it seems TV inspired when I look at it. Reese is a main character from “Malcom in the Middle” and Aiden was a character on Sex and the City

terracassiday: haha definately not either since i have never seen malcom in the middle

terracassiday: and who is aiden in sex in the city?

terracassiday: and if thats ur only complaint i’ll take it as i’m gunna keep it

Stonegauge: He was Carrie’s BF before she met the Russian… The guy she had lived with at one point. The guy who played Aiden (or was it Aidan ) also played the love interest in My Big Fat Greek Wedding

terracassiday: haha thats sad that u remember that but i dont

Stonegauge: I barely watched the show too! It’s sad I remember PERIOD! πŸ˜†

Honestly, that name is great and I like it… and Sex in The City can be great too.. but as Aiden once told Big while Big rambled in sorrow about a girl not being availible for him on the phone…. “That’s Fucked up!”

Awake!

It’s getting near 2 AM when I write this and it’ll be 2 by the time I publish this and there are a lto of things that are sorta swimming through my head and at the same tiem there aren’t many at all.

I had a good night. I decided to go out for dinner and had some drinks and made the mistake of walking almost 2 miles home — drunk. That’s ok though. I was observant enough not to get hit by a car here in the worst place in the United States to be a pedestrian.

Something else is fudging with me and it’s not something that makes sense to me because it’s a contradiction of sorts…. Having a friend who has been someone you rely on and finding they haven’t been making you better as much as you thought. About how I changed for someone and how it was detrimental to me in general.

And I’d get into that but I like being obtuse about it. Better for all parties involved because you all have to figure out WTF I am talking about πŸ˜›

At the same time I have been focusing on myself a lot more — on things with my life and trying to improve them or figure out how the hell to do that. Someone else — well, a couple of people — have been pushing me forward with that and it’s all good… (this should clear up some of the obtuseness) Hopefully something comes from it before my body decides to mess with me again.

2:05 AM EST on Sunday as I finish this post up… And I’m wondering when I’ll go to sleep….

Spec-ifications

New glasses arrived — woot.

I have two lenses again in a pair of glases. w00t!

I have perscription sunglasses! w00t! w00t!

Now if I had somewhere to go show them off at, things would be poifect πŸ™

Nix that. Problem with the new glasses — they gave me the wrong f’n perscription in one eye! grrrrrrrrrr!

The Stork shall deliever…

Terra is going to have a little boy!

I just can’t even fathom that… Oh my, what anarchy will ensue in her house in the coming years….

Congratulations Terra!

Rest in peace, Honey

πŸ™

Honey, my shitzu Yorkie terrier mix, had been on her last legs for a while now. Her teeth had basically rotted out and she was having problems eating, she weakened and she was having problems getitng up and down the stairs among other things.

She’d been deaf for a while…. But this afternoon (unbknownst to me) my father took her to the vet to be put down.

Her suffering has ended though… I hope she is at peace wherever she is….

It's going to be a bright….

BRIGHT bright Sunshiny Day….

Don’t tread on the sun. Fair warning.

The worst franchise in professional sports

https://www.rawcharge.com/2005/01/10/the-worst-franchise-in-professional-sports

This sucks

This day gets worse and worse by the instant. Not only have I had shit today but now I have to deal with Dave “Falling Down” FromCali. πŸ™„

Beautiful day outside today and basically shit to do for me. I went for a walk and saw the depressing site of a teenage mother handing over her daughter to the kids father so she and a friend can go out and do something. It was rather pathetic and heartbreaking to see. Depressing to look at society like that.

And then I dwelt on my own situation most of the day – nto fun. *sigh*

From high to low, the roller coaster of emotions that is John rolls on this weekend.

The stuff Ego Fluffs are made of

taken from a conversation with a female friend…

friend: wanna hear something funny? Rob is more insecure about me talking to you than he is about me talking to Eric
friend: how do you like that? YOU are threatening
me:
πŸ™„ πŸ˜†
me: It took me a minute to really fathom this…
friend: yeah, Eric called me last night, and I had Rob answer my phone (because i didn’t reconize the number and I’m hiding from bill collectors) and he wasn’t too upset about it
me: If he only knew….
me: what did Eric have to say last night? Just checking up on you?
friend: yeah just calling to say hi, we haven’t talked since before the holidays and I don’t know what made him think to call me, but we just talked about the site and his health and all that jazz
friend: mind you, Rob did get jealous, but not as jealous as he gets of you
….
me: You should have him talk to me if you think that would difuse things.

but then again I’m getting a kick out of this so iets put that off as long as possible πŸ˜› πŸ™‚

It’s hilarious to think that I get someone jealous. It makes me feel good that I can actually make someoen who is physically superior to me jealous for that matter. As someone with his own insecurities, this is a bit of an ego boost. Of course having a friend who cares about me enough to talk about that friendship with her significant other is also pretty heartwarming…. But knowing that me and this friend could never really be more, and for Rob to be jealous of me is like a cat being jealous of a dog panting. It makes no sense.

But it’s sure fun to think about πŸ˜€

How bad a title is this…?

I know it’s really important what the content of a story and not the title but would you be interested in reading something that was titled….

Amiable Neurotica

Just curious.

I love this casting…

Well, I’m interested in seeing what Bryan SInger does with Superman… I hope it’s not a retelling like Batman Begins or the JJ Abrams version of Superman which re-established the franchise in total.

The casting I REALLY REALLY love is Kevin Spacey as Lex Luthor. Who else could play that roll but Kevin?? Oh, some of you fanboys will spout off names but this one works for me.

The Spectacle of Death

Someone needs new glasses…

GO ahead, make my day…

No matter what goes on or how mundane things are, I’ve found i have a knack for raising the bar for friends just a little bit here adn there… Just by being myself. Making someone’s day is not something new to me but it’s something that I hadn’t done in a while – well, not conciously.

I could bring up Christmas and gift selections on my part — I got everyone something they loved with exception given to my older brother (who hates everything people get him) and my father (who doesn’t give a care anyway). It was nice to see everyone a bit excited or happy with gifts.

But that was Christmas. What about now?

Well, yesterday I find out Danielle’s birthday is today… And I decide to go benevolent and send her flowers. Just a friendly gift as she is engaged and we’ve demonstrated that we’re not the best for each other. I start talkign to her today and she’s miserable because she’s had her birthday overlooked by her fiancé…. She’s had it ill planned by her future mother in law… She was brroding. She had Rob (her significant other) call and she brougth him down by being down herself. Bummer.

Then the flowers arrive… Just some daisey’s… And you know how big something like that is and how little it is in the grand scheme…? How much of a mood changer it was?

I’m good with shit like that… In all the mundane bullshit that I can whine about, lack of romance and lack of social circle, I can know that I am able to do things that can change someone’s day around or show I care. Maybe this is why I get hurt? Maybe this is why I’m vulnerable?

Maybe this is why I’m one of a kind?

Oh well….

Near Campus house in Tallahassee, Florida availible

You looking for a house or an apartment near campus at FSU?

Or maybe you are just looking for your own room without having to pay a bundle?

Check out the specs on this and contact Terra if you are interested.

The Year in Review — Yuccaneers indeed

“Four and Twelve seems like a real possibility.”

You know, I got a bit of bashing for having this bleak outlook at the Bucs this season. I saw things going in a direction that was counter-productive to what fans wanted and what the NFL trend was and you know what? The Bucs got just what they deserved, those who thought I was full of shit and expected another playoff-run got what they deserved and I get to deal out humble-pie for a change.

God, you do not know how much of a dick I feel like righ tnow and how bad I feel about it. I wanted to be wrong about hte Bucs this season. Hell, I needed to be wrong about the Bucs this season in order to be proved wrong about the state of the franchise post-Gruden acquisition. Yet I was proven right and there is this impending sense of dread with the coming offseason that the Bucs will try to jump right into contention again by spending on past-there-prime players and we’ll end up completely fucked because of it.

Jon Gruden, the man who can do no wrong in certain fans eyes because he brought the Bucs to the promised land, needs a swift kick in his ass and his yes-man office assistant, Bruce Allen, should be fired post-haste before they further fuck things up by doing what Jon wants to do without regarding the wellfare fo the team. There is indeed a way to get the Bucs back to contention and it isn’t by signing players for more than they are worth, going after names and reputations instead of talent, etc…

This off-season, the Bucs need to cut the bullshit with the free agent spending. It’s rebuilding time and instead of going after everyone on the market (and former Raider players) they need to go after young talent that needs a chance to shine in starting roles instead of on special teams or what not. They need to say goodbye to Michael Pittman and Charlie Garner, Mario Edwards and others that were brought in during the 2004 off-season and start a youth movement.

That also means keeping around Derrick Brooks, Simeon Rice and some of the rest of the veterans on the squad. Not because the Bucs need to keep some aspect of contention but they need to keep some aspect of leadership and direction. Brooks gives them that and Rice give them taht on defense (along with Ronde Barber). Mike Alstott gives them that on offense along with Cosey Coleman, Joe Jervacius, etc.

They need to let Brian Griese walk isntead of further being cluster-fucked with the Salary Cap by agreeing to his 8 million dollar option. They should bring in journeymen QB’s and le tthem contend for the starting psoition against Chris Simms. You can make chicken salad out of chicken shit at the QB position — look at Jake Delholme. He was nothing until he got a chance to start with Carolina and the rest is history.

Gruden, with a roster of youth and hungry players, needs to run one fo the tightest ships he has ever run…. Along with one of the most intensive training camps that he has ever run. He’s been stradled with superstars since taking over head coaching duties for the Riaders a few years ago… Without having a huge cast of big-name hired guns, he might just get the clue that he’s going to have to have patience and actually coach and not just shout orders. He’ll have to lead and teach instead of just expect results from players that were brought along under someone else’s system.

2005 would turn into a painful experience for some – a hopeless endeavour… But then again, it would right the ship long-term by foricng the Bucs back into the building mode instead of Gruden’s ill-planned “retoolings” of the roster.

I expect retooling instead of building this offseason again, however :-(. I expect Brooks and Alstott to be cut instead of the true fat on the roster – the dead weight. All because Jon Gruden’s ego is so much bigger than his talent. He’s an overglorified Offensive Coordinator who’s gotten carte blanche of the Tampa Bay Buccaneer franchise and will run it into the dirt before he will concede that he’s fucked things up with his acquisitions and his preferences.

The Mood Change….

I think the lyrics speak for themselves how I am feeling — there is something positive while surrounded by a moment that I can’t get out of….

Beautiful Day

The heart is a bloom, shoots up through the stony ground
But there’s no room, no space to rent in this town
You’re out of luck and the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck and you’re not moving anywhere
You thought you’d found a friend to take you out of this place
Always
Someone you could lend a hand in return for grace
Always

It’s a beautiful day
The sky falls and you feel like
It’s a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away

You’re on the road but you’ve got no destination
You’re in the mud, in the maze of her imagination
You love this town even if that doesn’t ring true
You’ve been all over and it’s been all over you
Always

It’s a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away
It’s a beautiful day
Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I’m not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light, and
See the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

Day

It was a beautiful day
Don’t let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I’m not a hopeless case

What you don’t have, you don’t need it now
What you don’t know, you can feel it somehow
What you don’t have, you don’t need it now
Don’t need it now
It was a beautiful day

It’s warm in the sun, I reach to the sun

It’s the first set of stanzas that really I can relate to….

In the life of bard: Good News, bad news

My, what a pleasurable sensation….

It’s been over a year – close to a year and a half – since I wrote a short story or actually completed a short story. The good news is that I’ve got a draft of a 3600 word short story done. I’ll edit it a few times before I give it a final approval. That’s the good news.

The bad news is that I think it might be too perdictable. I mean, it pulls at heart strings and the target audience has liked it sus far (the two people I have had read it) but…

Eh…. The art of editing is to improve your story as much as possible. We’ll see if that does it.