Month: November 2004


Black Tuesday

Besides just being depressed (tis the season, ho ho ho to guess-who) I find out hwo bad I’m screwed when it comes to the new pager I now have in my possesion…

I don’t know if anyone still regularly reads der Stonegauge but a couple of weeks ago I reported that my original Motorola T900 text messenger was lost while I tooled around Long Island, New York. I bought a new pager off ebay while in New York and I thought all would be rectified by now.


The replacement pager I bought arrived about 2 weeks ago and I found it broken — not working – when I tried to use it. That itself was discouraging. I contacted the guy I bought the pager from and he told me I coudl return it. Good enough – I sent the pager back and got a new one as a replacement. That oen arrived yesterday and I’v been through hell finding out how screwed I am right now because of this thing.

I talked with my wireless company all afternoon trying to get the pager hooked up but they couldn’t “Locate” the thing because it was on another system. OK, fine. I was frustrated at this and sent myself a text email just because I could…

I didn’t expect to get the response email but I DID. It showed who my hosting company was, and I decided to contact them first thing in the morning about getting this thing ironed out.

Well, here’s the problem. I contacted Arch Wireless this morning (the hosting company) and gave them the pager number, the serial number and the Cap code and what did they find out? That they couldn’t release the pager because it was not registered with them. It was registered with a TV station in Boston.

Like a TV station would give a shit about a pager and transfering ownership to an individual? 🙁 Suffice it to say, I am lost and have no clue what I am going to do from here.

CSI: Provo, Utah

Is it just me or is CBS trying to burn the CSI franchise out as fast as possible?

They have three shows going on each week – the one in Las Vegas, the one in Miami and the one in New York that started this season… They have only so many stories for each CSI and then they start overlapping on crimes. “Oh, they did something like this last season in New York.” “I thought I saw David Carusoe do this on CSI: Miami?”

They are currently leading the television pack (this after a decade of falling from grace in TV Land) but they are going to burn the franchise out post-haste with three cities and three Crime Scene Investigations going on at once….

The more times change, the more they stay the same…

&You know I used to work on the Internet for a Dot-Com pre dot-bomb (I would link to my former employer but alas — the Wayback Machine doesn’t have a good copy of the site in their history) and I used to hate sitting around and waiting on people to respond to email, waiting for search engines to index pages I make, or try to stay busy finding ways to beat the system.

Certain sites are reminding me of how I hate waiting. How I loath not being able to jump in and do the job when I learn how to do it….


It’s occured to me a lot the last few days that it’s been almost exactly a year since I went under the knife… The difference a year makes is immense in so many ways and yet the more things have improved, the more they stay the same with various faccets of my life.

Today we had somewhere around 20 people over for dinner… well, 20 people would be a few too many but it fluctuated in the teens all afternoon. Uncle’s, my aunt, my cousin and her daughter, my younger brother (while Mike skipped out on things) and other family friends. It was a great get-together for the most part and I had a lot of fun with things.

I brought up what I am thankful for (“That I’m not lying in a hospital bed this year.” ) to a round of applause and through the liquor and the laughter I easily forgot where I was a year ago today or what I suffered through at the time (no, not surgery — watching George W. Bush and his faux visit to Iraq).

But someone had to ruin the day for me.

It wasn’t family – though their reaction did indeed bother me. It wasn’t friends of the family – though I notably started acting strange when some people showed up. No, it was the fact certain people turned up with both their kids in tote that I had problems with. I mean MAJOR problems. It basically ruined the evening for me….

The family pretty much embraced them and that made me further angry — as someone who has opened his arms after being stepped on and then gotten stepped on again, I couldn’t stand to watch this train wreck in action.

Speaking of train wrecks, I was happy to see Kylie was walking. Kylie being my cousin Amber’s daughter. I had gotten very upset during her first birthday party when I saw not only was she not walking but she looked like she wasn’t nearly ready for it. I’m glad I’ve been proved wrong on that one.

So… To summarize — a year later I am in good spiriits. I’m not wasting away in a hospital bed with only a friend at my side and a Subway sandwitch to eat. I’m happy I am spending time with my family and out and about… I’m thankful that I’m not having nightmares of someone’s blog or having Christmas Cards thrown out…

I’m thankful….

Bun's in the oven

Something is troubling me and it’s a blessid experiences that is culmnivating for a few of my friends right now. I’ve already made brief mention of it here on der Stoengauge but I haven’t really gone into it besides some surface concerns.

I hsve three friends — potentially four — who are pregnant. I’ve made mention of Terra being prregnant, and I made mention of Michelle being pregnant. I didn’t make mention of my younger brother’s ex-girlfriend (and close family friend) Aileen being pregnant (and much farther along than the other two girls)… This one was the first in the series of pregnancies that have come up…

And now? Melanie is late and she’s planning on taking a home pregnancy test soon.

Melanie also went ahead and said I sounded like having children was a bad thing. I felt bad because I have conveyed that image to her. Having children isn’t bad, it’s more like my state of mind right now that is making it out to be bad. It’s me – not them. It’s inexperience and loneliness talking.

I thought, in essence, having a child leads you into another stage of your life. You’re born, you’re raised, and when you become a certain age you enter anotehr stage of yoru life. Maybe I shouldn’t say age but an event? Maybe your sexual awakening, maybe something that just pushes you into having to act beyond your years…

I feel like I’m stuck at a certain stage of my life and that everyone else is eclipsing me. Love, marriage, kids… I’m so ready for more and yet I’m not ready to deal with the big issues of marriage and children (or vice versa if events unfold that way).

I wrote it, they read it…

Heh, I go on a Wal-Mart Triste and lo and behold – another letter published….

Someone speaketh the truth..

Gotta go over to Pacific Views to read this one… but just WHO hates us for our freedoms? Find out by clicking here.

Web design work

Chantilly Lace has a pretty face
A pony tale, hanging down

But her hosting company stole the wiggle in her walk
nickle and dimed her out of the wiggle in her talk
and made a horrid sound, sound, sound, sound….

So John to the rescue — or I’m going to try to save her.

Looky what we got here…

Well, dag-nabit, looks like we’ze got ourselves a little planned protest on our hands.


Tarpon Springs and the Suburban-blight of WalMart Supercenters

Wal-Mart is trying to add the 44th (or is it more?) store to the Tampa Bay Metro Area by sticking one of their Supercenters on the bank of the Anaclote river in Tarpon Springs.

While Mary Jo Malone wrote an incredible piece on the subject a some time back on the fact Tampa Bay has too many Wal-Marts as is, I had to send Tarpon Springs my own piece on why Wal-Mart is not a good thing for the city.

I am very upset at the shortsightedness of those in power with the City of Tarpon Springs with their collective reasoning behind blessing Wal-Mart. Though the city has not approved of the new Super Wal-Mart being built on the banks of the Anclote river, it seems just a formality even with the public outcry against it.

One of the “major” issues that the Mayor and others have had with Wal-Mart is the sale of natural sponges at the proposed location – which seems to be an attempt to save downtown Tarpon Springs and the tourist trade. It also seems foolhardy seeing that you can go to most any Wal Mart location and see they do not sell natural sponges.

What Wal-Mart also sells is the death of small businesses. What this Wal-Mart will also sell is the slow death of Downtown Tarpon Springs. Has the city of Tarpon Springs paid absolutely no attention to the history of this area? Look at Clearwater alone – they struggle greatly because they have sold off land on US 19 to as many retail giants as possible, and now they are hit with a lackluster downtown area and are desperate to draw the people back. There is money for investment, sure, but the key component to downtown Clearwater is Scientology now, not residents..

Tarpon Springs, by the logic shown, is greatly concerned that the tourist trade will be unharmed by this addition to the city limits. What about the rest of Downtown? What about the small business owners who can’t compete with the monopoly-like tactics of Wal-Mart, which tends to profit even when losing money on sales? Is expanding the cities tax structure for one store so important that it kills off the rest of the cities tax structure by forcing the smaller competition to close their stores?

This isn’t even getting into the negative environmental impact of the store on the banks of the river, the ecological damage that this store will undoubtedly do and the increase of sprawl that we don’t need in North Pinellas / Southern Pasco county.

If the city of Tarpon Springs needs additional tax revenue — raise taxes. If the city of Tarpon Springs wants to be for Corporations and By Corporations like the rest of America under the current State government and Federal Government, by all means — vote in Wal Mart and watch the central district of Tarpon Springs fall away with time. The Sponge Docks will remain but everything else will pass.

Not the best… But still, it tries to convey a point.

Anyone who wants to speak out for or against Wal-Mart being built in Tarpon Springs shoueld email the city clerk and good luck conveying your point.

"Grand Theft A"ddiction

Maybe it’s the fact I finally got used to the streets turning back on each other? Maybe it’s the fact I can pick up prostitutes any time during the day? Or the fact I can “Clean up the ‘hood by offing Drug Dealers?

Whatever the case may be, I’ve got a jones for Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and have been playing it off and on for the past week since it arrived in the mail. I’m not that far into the game knowing how deep GTA games are (missions, side missions, etc) but I’m far enough in to know I like what I see.

Gang Wars? Check. Drive bys? Check. Great music? Check. Corny Dialogue? Fuck you, nigga’!

Grand Theft Auto in la Cuidad de San ANdreas kicks ass and I am going back to my game RIGHT NOW….


It took me less than 15 minutes to wish I was still back in New York when I arrived here in Florida…

Oh what a state… of disconent 🙁

Goodbye Ruby Tuesday

Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday
Who could hang a name on you,
When you change with every new day?
Still I’m gonna miss you

Ahoja from the frosty north. John checking in to give a little bit of news that isn’t very important but sorta sad personal news all the same. My T900 TalkAbout Pager — ruby red — has gone missing and is in all likelyhood gone. I lost it yesterday (thus the title and the lyric) when out in Massapequa on a quick stop before venturing to see family in Jackson Heights.

It’s another end of an Era… O, Discordia….

Pre-trip bullshit

This is why I refused to travel with my father to LA —

Here it is, 6 and a half hours before the flight. 5 or less before we have to be at the airport… He has not packed a thing. He has not prepared one iota. He is sitting on his computer playing games, and earlier was busy watching TV.

To all of those who aren’t fucked over so much you don’t live at home and don’t have to deal with the same anal acts over and over again from family – I envy you.

Out of Tears….

Out Of Tears

The Rolling Stones

I can’t feel
Feel a thing
I can’t shout
I can’t scream
Breathe it out
Breathe it in
All this love
From within

I won’t cry when you say goodbye
I’m out of tears
I won’t die when you wave goodbye
I’m out of tears
Out of tears

I won’t drink
I won’t eat
I can’t hear
I won’t speak
Let it out
Let it in
All this pain
From within
And I just can’t pour my heart out
To another living thing
I’m a whisper
I’m a shadow
But I’m standing up to sing

I won’t cry when you say goodbye
I’m out of tears
I won’t die when you wave goodbye
I’m out of tears, yes I am
I won’t cry, I swear my eyes are dry
I’m out of tears
I won’t cry, I’m going to tell you why
I’m out of tears
Out of tears
Out of tears

Let it out
From within
Some you lose
Some you win
I can drift
I can dream
Til I float
Off your screen
And I just can’t pour my heart out
To another living thing
I’m a whisper
I’m a shadow
But I’m standing up to sing

I won’t cry when you say goodbye
I’m out of tears
I won’t die when you wave goodbye
I’m out of tears
Out of tears
I won’t cry, I swear my eyes are dry
I’m out of tears
Out of tears
I won’t cry, I’m going to tell you why
I’m out of tears
Out of tears
Out of tears

Aloof about Rock Bottom

Tuesday, Wednesday and Saturday… Things just get worse and worse. Bah

Sus ends a shitty week — or does it? There is still plenty of time for it to get shittier.

For those who are Lord of the Rings fans…

….and for those who can appreciate The Hobbit, here is a very very disturbing song/video (at least for me).

The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins, by Leonard Nimoy

Edit: 10-27-2007 The above link went dead several years ago but I’ve been horrified at the memory of the film. Praise YouTube for letting me share the laughable horror with you as well!  ?

A little "faith" for the progressives

Last time I talked about anything that had to do with faith, the chips were down for me and people / things continued to screw the pooch for me…

Well, thank you America, you have done a mighty job filling me with doubt and ridding me of my faith and hope for the future.

My older borther Michael sent me a quote from Terry Goodkind’s Faith of the Fallen which seesm rather fitting at this point.

“The only sovereign I can allow to rule me is reason. The first law of reason is this: what exists exists; what is, is. From this irreducible, bedrock principle, all knowledge is built. This is the foundation from which life is embraced.

“Reason is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts, nor are they a means to discovering them. Reason is our only way of grasping reality – it’s our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss we refuse to see.

“If I fail to use reason in this struggle, if I close my eyes to the reality of what is, in favor of what I would wish, then we will both die in this, and for nothing. We will be but two more among uncounted millions of nameless corpses beneath the gray, gloomy decay of mankind. In the darkness that will follow, our bones will be meaningless dust.

“Eventually, perhaps a thousand years from now, perhaps more, the light of liberty will again be raised up to shine over a free people, but between now and then, millions upon millions of people will be born into hopeless misery and have no choice but to bear the weight of the Order’s yoke. We, by ignoring reason, will have purchased those mountains of broken bodies, the wreckage of lives endured but never lived.”

Just what does it take?

I can get pissed at the election but what good does that do?

I’d like to move but what good does that do changing things? Improving things…

What does it take to actually run for political office? US House of Reps for example… I don’t think The Distinguished Gentlemen is that great of a point in trying to get a gauge of this.

Time for the final sprint….

Polls closing in various places on the East Coast….

Plenty of time left elsewhere in America….

There will be rain if God wills it… Rain, baby, rain….

Der Vote

I voted — have you?!

Hour long wait in der suburbs here in Palm Harbor…. This comes after 2 weeks of 3 hour long waits at early voting centers throughout the county….

Get out and vote, America…