Month: February 2007
I’ve waited longer than I should to have Madeline spay. She’s a frisky 21 months old now and as sweet as ever… So now that I have some things in better order in my life, I figured I better go and get this done for her. After all, I am contractually obligated to her breeder to have this done.
And I find myself nervous about it.
I mean, things are scheduled — got the clinic, got the date (February 26th), got the time, got the pre-surgery instructions… I’ve personally dealt with this (well, not having my sex organs removed — but I mean surgery) before so I know the deal. I’m just worried.
Worried about what happens immediately after, how to deal with things, what coudl go wrong, etc… Likely things will be fine but… Hey, I’m a worrier. Once I get this out of my system, I’ll be fine. Maybe.
Bonus for Boltsmag
And as of a few days ago it’s linked to on Sports Illustrated’s Tampa Bay Lightning team profile page. How is that for a birthday gift?
Everyone loves getting mail
Not one of my better poems, was written in a bit of a rush the other night when I had this thought on my mind… Inspired in part by The Lake House
I want to write you this letter
I want to spend time in thought and
Trying to figure out what I’d say to you
It’s great when you get a letter in the mail
And I’m thinking about writing a letter
It’s been a few weeks since we talked and
Right now you’re on my mind
Whether you like that idea or not
So it’s been a few weeks since we talked
The last time we did, we fought and
I let you walk all over me,
While you had good reason to be pissed
Yet I was all apologies
All in all is all we are
You never offered me the same
For you getting all angry and acting lame
I’d better not write you this letter after all
Why I better not write this letter
Because you just don’t respect me and
You got me tied around your little finger
And just twist and twist me tighter than a knot
Knots can be so cruel
They can be like feeling locked inside
Yeah, feelings can be knots too
Cinching tighter and restraining things
So I’m writing you this letter
I’m just a piece of twine twisted around
Your pinkie is red from this yarn
That we’ve both been spinning for ages
And it’s great getting letters in the mail
Last one I sent you was years ago
And I tap-tapity-tapped it up on my keyboard
My handwriting is a horror unto itself
The horror of my day
Realizing I still have feelings for you
And you’ve pretty clearly moved stage left
The lights are bright on Broadway
“The Producers” is better watched with an audience
And I don’t know if you care
Getting a letter in the mail from me
Letters in the mail are great but even better
When you don’t expect them
I’m the king of “don’t-expect’em”
And my wrist is getting
Writing out this yarned ramble
Ramble – what we know so well
What we loved, what we lived, what we did for hours
And I watched this movie
And it got me thinking that i ought to
Write you a letter
You could care less about the addressee
Your residence wasn’t hard to find
So I’m closing this letter off
Hoping to put things to rest even though it’s
Special to get a letter in the mail
And I want to share special with you again
All in all is all we are
Kurt Cobain is formally dead and
You can’t respect someone who kisses your ass
It just doesn’t work
So I watched this movie tonight
I wanted to write you a letter
I wanted to write you this letter
It’s great getting something in the mail
Â© John Fontana
Taking a chance
Yesterday I had something happen that hasn’t happened before… Well, it has but I wasn’t confident to the same degree when it happened in the past. I wasn’t compelled to act immediately like I did…
I applied for a job.
Not just a job, but a high profile job.
Not just a high profile job, but one in a different city, in a different region…
Not just a high profile job in a different city, but one that is being offered by a campaign attached to a former presidential candidate.
I really should be more skeptical — and I am in a lot of fashions — towards the job I applied for with John Kerry. It was advertised on Daily Kos and that means hundreds of thousands will not only see this thing but probably apply for a job too.
The thing is… I know this job. I AM this job. I have been doing most of the roles that are described in the online agenda for years on my own. I’ve done them voluntarily, I’ve done them for next to nothing… I know this role, I have confidence I could do this job and do it well.
But in the end, it ain’t up to me now is it? At least not right now.
I’ve never lived away from home for more than a few days. I have been 2300 miles from home without family oir friends around as a social safety net though. While Boston would be like that, it’s much easier to reach my extended family in New York and Connecticut.
What’s gonna happen now? I don’t know… Could I even get up to Boston for an interview? Let alone find myself taking the position? have no clue, but I know one thing — I am that job. I have confidence in that fact and I only wish I had this opportunity more often, closer to home, to prove it.
On your mind
I don’t know how often other people do this but I always get curious about other people’s thoughts — thoughts involving me, thoughts involving others and such. While opinions and perceptions can come off hurtful when you hear them – they can also raise you up to new heights.
But the one that always gets me is when I hear someone dreamed of me. Me! I was on someone’s thoughts enough that I ran through their mind… Even if I had nothing to do with the underlying fabric of what went on in the dream and the psychology of what happened (dreams have a great wide amount of meanings)… It’s just special to know that the thought was there.
So here’s my next one — yeah, a little verse on this St. Valentines Day… Inspired by the ones on our minds.
On Your Mind
When last was I
A Sight for sore eyes?
The last time you
Longed my hand?
When last was I your
Knight in shining armor,
Your noble man?
When last did I
Paint a picture
That made you melt because
You were my muse?
When last did I
Earn your undivided attention
While we discussed the
Front page news?
When last did my thought
Earn your affection
Because of the joy
That I bring?
When last did we
Fly through the heavens,
In the night
While you slept,
And you dreamed?
Â© 2007 John Fontana
Note to self — if you gotta blog, blog here
You know, I get my thoughts out pretty well on here. It might be snipping about personal matters, it might be poetry, it might be just re-listing song lyrics (which seem to be popular with the Search Engines) or quoting movies. Whatever the case, I blog here not-so-much but I do blog here from time to time.
I also blog elsewhere… And tonight I figured I would blog on DFA-link int he Pinellas County DFA group about my fondness for Al Gore and how I am holding out for him to enter the 2008 Presidential primaries.
The only thing I didn’t expect when I blogged this was the fact the post was going to get wider exposure than what I was aiming for. Much wider. Hugely wider.
More than three years ago, I never would have dreamed in my wildest imagination that I would be featured on the front page of Blog for America — the then-It blog of the Howard Dean for President campaign. Dean failed in his attempts, but he founded Democracy for America in an effort to organize Democratic support better. Blog for America lived on and is still highly thought of on the liberal/progressive blogosphere.
And at 11:45 PM ET, on February 12th 2007 — yours truly has made it to the front page. Whodathunkit?
Incomplete or not, here it comes…
I started writing this one months ago while someone was kvetching to me in the usual disrespectful “you’re there while I need you” manner and gave me a little vision during it.
So one good thing came from my sap act:
Dance of the Ages
Dancing barefoot in the grass
Gypsy woman reflects the ages
Curly hair tied back with rags
The melody makes love to her
Fabric waving through the air
Her dress flaps loose, without a care
Playing on the tamborine
And watchers heeding her every move
Gypsy woman lives on the road
No roots or ties, she knows no home
Her band of gypsies come and go
Strangers eyes are her closest friend
Night falls and the music ends
She washes, naked, at the rivers edge
Pale moonlight bathes her in a glow
She longs for the throes of passion
Day comes and the troop pushes forth
On their course, their road heads north
Gypsy woman heeds that cry
Somewhere new, there’s a strangers eye —
To captivate and to alure
A lovers gaze, a young man’s urge
To tease and taunt through her dance of ages
She lures them to her like cats to string
Â© 2007 John Fontana
On a creative tear.
What is a standard worth
When you are
Unhappy in life under it?
What is a principle worth
If it keeps you alone
Day-dreaming of a bliss that
The rules and laws
You set for yourself
Are made to be broken —
–unless you dread where
Life will lead
Unhappiness is a constant,
When longing an unattained goal
Which amounts to the
Of my life
Â© 2007 John Fontana
One article leads to $5 into a non-existent campaign vault
Al Gore is the 800 pound gorilla in the room for all Presidential aspirants in the 2008 election season. No matter who you prefer or which political party you are tied to — Gore is the name if he were to run for President (and remains the marquee name in the shadows). I’m not going to throw around bitter trash about 2000. That’s over, that’s done with and the country’s been screwed up since.
At any rate, there is an article with former Gore campaign manager Donna Brazile who is hinting that we may know if Gore is in or out by Oscar night.
With that knowledge and with that little glimmer of hope, I took a leap and put $5 bucks to good use.
All I can do is watch you from
Your blonde hair
Shifting with the breeze –
Willow branches taunted by the
Throes of air as it bows and
Sways where and when
The hidden forces will it
All I do is admire you from
Smile darting and mischievous
Youth and happiness
Escaping into a
Anarchy and confusions
Life as we both know it
All I can do is endeavor into your
Mysteries of your being —
Auroras in the heavens
Blazing and dancing
Compelling me to try,
All I can do know you through my
Out of reach, out of knowing
Out of a solution to the confusions
That find me enamored by you
Knowing nothing is a bliss
Having nothing — torture
Yet having this dream spoiled
Having the answers
May just extinguish the
Your palette paints into my