Windows and waiting for what…?

I got up early again today – I’ve been waking up early most of the weak and staying in bed until Ir eally have to get my ass in gear. Half of the time I lie there thinking of what i have to do for the day and that gets me going at one point or another – but well after my cobwebs are gone from my head.

On this particular day, I had to get up before 9… I had been up well past two thinking about things, so I thought this would be a bit more difficult than it ended up…

Now you must be wondering why I HAD to get up at 9…

See, about 6 years ago I smashed a few rocks I picked up from Cape Cod two years earlier, through my bedroom window in a fit of rage (teenage angst coupled with losing ones hearing as well as feeling fenced in). I’ve been meaning to have the glass replaced for about…. 6 years, and had my uncle replace my window all together (it was cheaper) this morning.

The new window is nice — and minus a fly screen outside, however. Everything I look at is clear and not broken up in sections (and I don’t mean shattered glass sections) like my old window.

Anyway, after that I faded pretty fast and couldn’t quite find something to get productive with. I’ve been feeling like I am waiting for something – to hear from someone, to have something happen, for the next life perhaps (rest in peace, Gloria Foster )… Just SOMETHING.

I’ve got “Peter’s Problem” (can’t even think of a working title) that I have aluded to sitting over me. I’ve got a folder full of stories I never foudn a plot for that I could get a plot for, write, finish and then send in to a magazine (but I haven’t). I need some motivation but then again I also just NEED… I don’t know how else to put it. Need to hear some things, need to see some things, need to have some things… i don’t know…

Or are these wants? Whatever it is, I am waiting and delaying because of it…

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