Tag: obvious

 

Do I have to say the words?

You know, I tried to find the perfect way to write up a story about my night last night but “Do I have to say the words?” seems perfect in describing it. What I thought was obvious had to be stated. What I thought was apparent, had to be admitted.

What comes from it remains to be seen, but at least I’m not sitting on things.

(this absolutely vague message was brought to you by Al Gore, astrologers everywhere and the letter O!)

Idgie / Amber

I was out playing with my nine month old puppy, Madeline, just a few minutes ago… I came inside and found instant messages sent from Jenna to me, telling me that her cat Amber had died.

That’s our cat actually, and hearing the news hurt.

Amber was a cat we rescued from the North Pinellas Humane Society last year about this time – it’s within a few days of the one year anniversary of getting the cat. Jenna had just moved into her apartment at Sabal Walk and wanted to get a feline friend to compliment her brood of dogs in the apartment. Meanwhile, I had the inkling of getting a cat for my brother Andy’s birthday – but I soon retreated on such an idea as they (at the shelter) said – giving animals as gifts isn’t such a bright idea.

Me and Jenna had gone to the shelter on a Sunday morning… I can’t exactly remember the details leading up to getting inside the shelter — I think we cleaned out her van in the shopping center across the street from the shelter as we waited for it to re-open — but I can remember inside. The cats were all penned into seperate fenced in areas. Some had unhealthy looks in their eyes from being in captivity too long. Several had been their for years, while others had been their for months on end. Me and Jenna had taken to a few sweet tabby cats that had been inside for a while… It was a pity party of sorts. I started making a list of preference cats in my head as we moved through the building, but every selection was a pity selection more so than a prized discovery.

Then we came to the last cage in the cat area… We were interested in looking at the dogs soon – just for the hell of it — but wanted to see the cats within the pen. It was crowded in their – maybe 12 or more cats all tucked into it. It was mostly longhairs. Several didn’t want to be touched and several were only interested in keeping their position in the cage.

I had basically given up on the the pen and was ready to move on when Jenna noticed a cat tucked away inside a cinder block. The block was already basically hidden under a platform that held several cats… The block was also surrounded by other cats lounging…

Jenna pulled the cat out from the abyss and lo and behold we found the prize of the Humane Society. The Needle in the haystack if you will. Her hair was mostly white with tints of brown and orange… It would be an elegant coat if not for the cat being in a dank cell and her hair matted against her body. She was a ragdoll.  We looked over the chart outside the cage to try to find the name of the animal. It wasn’t quite clear to me which of the dozen+ animals on the list it was… Though it seemed to be one of three or so, and most likely a cat named “Idgie.”

Idgie had been in the shelter for only a few days compared to the other cats. She was terrified in that cell, she would hiss when held near other cats or over other cats. She’d struggle to get out of your grasp and run back into her hiding space from time to time…

But she also had the demeanor of an animal that didn’t belong in a pen like that. She seemed violated and desperate to escape.

We browsed around the dogs – Jenna took to a golden retriever that was up for adoption, but my mind was on “Idgie.” Would she even survive a few minutes without us? We had to get her out of there… I mean we just HAD to do it.

And that’s just what we did.

The adoption only took a few minutes and “Idgie” was brought out in a cat carrier. It ran through my mind a few times what this cat must have gone through and must be going through. Her papers said she was six and that she had been put up for adoption because of a new baby at home where she had lived. She was already declawed and though she was a tad volatile in the pen, it was obvious she wasn’t an aggressive animal by nature.

We got her out to the car — she was adopted officially by me but she’d be Jenna’s cat — and decided right there she needed a new name because… Well, Idgie? There are uncommon names and then their are REALLY uncommon names. Idgie didn’t even look pronouncable on the information sheet we had been given, let alone was it something that either of us would willingly call an animal. We decided upon “Amber” as her new name.

And that was the begining of her new life — andn that life would only last a year.

She was sweet, that much I can remember. She was scared when we brought her into Jenna’s apartment and she hid inside Jenna’s closet most of the time. I was always concerned for the cat because of the change of situations she was facing, but she came out fine. We cleaned her up and indeed she was a beautiful longhair. I’d almost think that she was a show cat because of how smart she seemed to be.

But now she’s gone….  Though the memory lives on….

Talk

I usually start off my posts with titles — sometimes they come to me immediately and set the tone for posts, sometimes they are terrible titles for posts because they have nothing to do with them, and other times they are dead on. Right now I have no title at all in mind or every title I think of contradicts what I was going to talk about.

I was going over the site web logs – just sometime I do from time to time to see who is linked to Der Stonegauge or other sites I am in control of. I’ve been catching a lot of people who’ve been siphoning graphics lately, for example. I also check those logs for search phrases that are used on the Internet that leads people to this site. Sometimes they are strange terms, sometimes they are relevant because I have posts using those titles, sometimes they are explicitly (because I use 4 letter words in posts and other posts just happen to have the matching second keyword that some pervert typed into a Search Engine) and then some terms come out of the blue.

Here’s the one that made me do a double take:

he doesn’t want to talk to me

It got me thinking… It got me wondering…. Of course, I have no phrase use on the site that even comes close to that, and of course I have no clue who went on the Internet, typed that key-phrase on a certain Search Engine and got this site as a result, but it just jarred me a bit.

So I’ll humor myself here by just typing out why it may seem like “he doesn’t want to talk to me” to this person… And what the truth may be on why “he” seems the way he is.
Read More

A Reagan tells it like it is

The Case Against George W. Bush

Just like that, a country whose economy had been reduced to shambles by international sanctions, whose military was less than half the size it had been when the U. S. Army rolled over it during the first Gulf war, that had extensive no-flight zones imposed on it in the north and south as well as constant aerial and satellite surveillance, and whose lethal weapons and capacity to produce such weapons had been destroyed or seriously degraded by UN inspection teams became, in Mr. Bush’s words, “a threat of unique urgency” to the most powerful nation on earth.

I chose to quote that section of this article specifically because that is the still-infuriating case (for me) against the Iraq invasion: Iraq, being contained and under close world scrutiny, had suddenly turned into a indominable threat and we had to strike or we would be destroyed.

All of the points Ron Reagan Jr. made were ignored by just about everyone who backed the attack or backed Bush blindly.

Why did it take so long for someone to write a piece that speaks what was so painful obvious about how much we were lied into War?

Reagan’s article is a long read but a good one, citing the lies and deception of Bush as a case to get this administration out of office.

Someone missed the boat and it was me

Oh dear god, I am falling in love with the Daily Show.

For years I hear about this growing cult of people who watch Jon Stewartt and company report on he news with a humorous, cynical and smart ass spin to things. I’m a fan of Jon Stewart but I never watched the show because at times the comedy that I have caught glimpses of on the show seemed a little too cheesy or a little dry or just too subtle.

But watching a few full shows and seeing everything going on? Jon Stewart and the rest of the gang at Daily happen to be Captain Obvious incarnate.

Oh sure, they also report on he ridiculous a ton… Like last night (I think it was a repeat) they had an interview with a fellow planning to build the Clinton “L-i-e brary” a few blocks away from the Clinton Presidential Library. I don’t know if he was on to the rouse that he wasn’t on a true news program but he told the show that it was “vital to our nations future” that people know the truth about Clinton and his lies…

…which was responded with rhetoric about how the CHILDREN actually are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way…. On and on, the full verse of The Greatest Love Of All was sang by the interviewer DURING the interview….

That’s balls, that’s bravado and that’s hilarious — mocking someone taking his outlandish cause too seriously…

Tonight? Jon Stewart fried Wolf Blitzer (in a humorous way, mind you – he wasn’t attacking Blitzer but laughing with him… or attempting to) and the media for how they’ve covered the war in Iraq with regards to asking questions. I believe Stewart asked, “Was it Group Think or another word, Retardation?”

Now if they could just lose the f’n commercials and expand the show (which would take a little too much, I would think), it would be insanely awesome… I’ll be happy with what I have for now — being a Daily n00b…

Film Quirks

I emailed my older brother Mike the other night after I came across a piece of movie trivia on IMDB that caught my eye:

(From The Matrix Revolutions
All of the crew members of the Hammer (with the exception of Captain Roland) are named after firearms (i.e. Mauser, Colt, AK)

Now most people won’t understand the quirk but I immediately put two and two together on this and thought of The Dark Tower saga and Stephen King. Roland of Guilead is the last Gunslinger and he is normally associated with guns – hard calibers, so to speak. I just had to pass that along to someone as a possible Dark Tower reference.

Of course, Mike could give a shit but you still gotta love him – for some reason :tongue

I also told Mike (after his “I could care” reply to my note) that I have been noticing another quirk lately7y that has been driving me bonkers just because it’s so obvious and so veiled at the same time. I’ve been thinking of The Godfather when I watch First Wives Club on cable. Diane Keaton yells something about “Uncle Carmine” and there is this weird progression that ties that line into the Godfather and Keaton’s role in it. (“Uncle Carmine” is what Bruno Kirby calls Marlon Brando’s character in The Freshman,. His full name is Carmine Sabatini and the character is a caricature of Don Vito Corleone, the character Brando portrayed in the epic Godfather film).

I don’t know, stuff like that has stuck out a lot with me lately. Anyone else have things like that happen when watching movies? Seeing ties to other movies and such?

"The Edge" of Sanity

I decided to spin some tunes and do some writing – which hasn’t come easy the last couple of weeks — today. After some audio bullshit and sound card problems I finally got everything running smooth and I had a re-awakening from a song I used to love in Middle and High School —

Aerosmith’s Living On The Edge

I had written a paper about it years ago for my English class (Ms. Manson always supported us being free spirited and such… And encouraged us with music, poetry, writing, etc) and had taken the song too seriously, in a way, when I stated that one message from the song that could be taken was that we are living on the edge of sanity and sobriety.

Anyone who sees the pop culture and news headlines knows this to be true, so that was one thing that is very true about the lyrics of the song.

But then there’s a refrain that comes up twice in the song that I never really put two and two together with, even though it should be obvious for everyone.

If Chicken Little tells you that the sky is fallin’
Even if it wasn’t would you still come crawling
Back again
I bet you would my friend
Again and Again and Again and Again and a-

“Crawling back again” was the line that first hit me for social reasons when I listened to the first instance of this in the song, but then it started weighing on me about Chickie Little and the Sky falling. It’s talking about those who are determined to say that things are all wrong with the world — they’re too this, too that. Too much pollution, too much taxes, too much drug use, too much sex, too much media, too little intelligence, we’ve strayed to far from the church, we’ve got too much greed, too little oil, too few resour—

Hold it right there.

Something actually happens to be right in the world and even when we throw out politics and politically correctness and religion up to our asses. Everyone on either side off an issue knows the issue is wrong because they are experts on the issue and don’t want you to see the truth if it doesn’t fit into their billing. I don’t want to bring up any of my own political beliefs with this because I believe the song right now more than I believe in politics. More than I believe in government. More than I believe in religion and more than I believe in people.

Livin’ On The Edge

Hudson, Tyler, Perry

There’s somethin’ wrong with the world today
I don’t know what it is
Something’s wrong with our eyes

We’re seein’ things in a different way
And God knows it ain’t his
It sure ain’t no surprise

Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge

There’s somethin’ wrong with the world today
The light bulb’s gettin dim
There’s meltdown in the sky

If you can judge a wise man
By the color of his skin
Then mister you’re a better man than I

Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself from fallin’)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself at all)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t stop yourself from fallin’)
Livin’ on the edge

Tell me what you think about your sit-u-a-tion
Complication – aggravation
Is getting to you

If chicken little tells you that the sky is fallin’
Even if it wasn’t would you still come crawlin’
Back again
I bet you would my friend
Again & again & again & again & again

Tell me what you think about your sit-u-a-tion
Complication – aggravation
Is getting to you

If chicken little tells you that the sky is fallin’
Even if it was would you still come crawlin’
Back again
I bet you would my friend
Again & again & again & again

Something right with the world today
And everybody knows it’s wrong
But we can tell ’em no or we could let it go
But I’d would rather be a hanging on

….

Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Livin’ on the edge
{You can’t help yourself)
(You can’t help yourself)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself at all)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself)
(You can’t help yourself)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself)
(You can’t help yourself)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself from fallin’)
Livin’ on the edge
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you got to that now

&copy 1992 Swag Song Music company

"Lost in" Understanding

Maybe it’s just me and I understand artsy-fartsy better than others?

Maybe it was because I wasn’t listening as-so-much reading the dialog, but I happened to enjoy Sophia Coppola’s Lost in Translation starring Bill Murray as an out of place American.

The entire premise of the movie is that – being out of place. Be it physical location, be it where you are in life or whatever – being out of place or not understanding your surroundings and trying to cope is what Lost In Translation basically amounts to.

Now, for those ho can deal with the artsy-fartsy, for those who can deal with less dialog and more imagery — this is a worthy movie for you. For those of you who can’t go on that, who can’t thrive on the social – it’s not a film for you. My father gave a firm thumbs down to the movie before even finishing it. Why? “Nothing Happens” was the excuse given. Indeed – nothing does happen. No slap-stick comedy, no bombs going off, no one liners, no thrills… It’s nothing you would expect Bill Murray to star in, nor is it something that you expect to headline the local multi-plex. It’s hard to understand if you are expecting a show that gets you interested right away with something happening or with a certain image – the image of Murray being driven to the hotel from the airport doesn’t exactly pull you in…. and obviously it didn’t pull my father in….

Lost is certainly Academy Award fodder and I have to hope both Sophia Coppola and Bill Murray can pull in awards for this… Of course, I am also pulling for a certain Hobbit-like director to take home a best-director Oscar, so it’ll be a very interesting finish to this award season.

Letters make up words

Opinion: Dean’s outreach

Dean’s outreach
Letters to the Editor
Published November 16, 2003

Re: Howard Dean and the Confederate flag.

The Nov. 13 letter writers who were critical of Howard Dean and his Confederate flag comments are missing the point of the statement that Dean made. He was not blessing bigotry, nor was he showcasing a need to push for racial insensitivity.

Gov. Dean is looking to bring back the Southern voter who traditionally votes Republican. The Confederate flag comment was a poor way to describe whom he is trying to reach, but it was painfully obvious that poor white Southerners were his targeted group. Maybe that can be looked at as a stereotype (that all Southerners drive pickups and have the Confederate flag somewhere), but how often do you see the stereotype that a Southern citizen has to vote Republican
?
The issue isn’t about bigotry or racism with Dean’s comments. It is about trying to reach out to a voting segment and show that he isn’t turning a blind eye toward them, as Republicans have traditionally done once elected.

— John Fontana, Palm Harbor

Oooh, oooh! Look! I’m famoous! :smile

…as a child

There was a lot in this dream and a lot I can’t remember now. Most of the images don’t stand out in my head any more but I know when I dreamed there was a plot and a point to things. Everything made sense at the time, as dreams normally do, and even though random strange events came into being – things turned out OK.

I remember Pepsi. Having a glass while talking with my mom… I remember getting the mail with my mailbox in the back yard, and there being a ton of mail to bring in. I remember the family cars being different and having some strange abilities to them. Well, not strange abilities to them, but the trunks were different. They were funky and 4-doors themselves.

It was my neighbor from across the street who stands out in the dream — who it turned out to be and what was going on. It was a special day for her and for some reason there were two of them in that house: one was a newborn infant that was being tended to by her mother while the other that I dealt with was a kid… a little kid that claimed she was 12 but was obviously a lot younger than that. She talked but barely listened. Preached but couldn’t comprehend when told something.

I can’t remember much more to the dream… what else happened before me waking up…. But it was a very vivid dream at the time. Feelings evoked and images shown and the like….

So anyway, I’ve got therapy in a little while… My left leg has been really weak lately while my right is very strong. Strange It’s a role reversal. It was vice versa in the hospital and in the last few weeks.

One last note — Mike gave me Reloaded last night and i have to agree with Merovingian: The French language is like wiping your ass with silk… it just flows and caresses…

Coming to a head

C7 / T1 is not the tumor that is causing my legs to be weak, it’s not the tumor causing my sensation loss among other things.

It is, however, the tumor Dr. Smith wants to operate on, which would likely put me in dire straights afterwords because I wouldn’t be getting up out of bed — I’d be sitting in a wheelchair, unable to walk because my legs are so weak (and likely more).

The reaction I get from people is mixed — some want me to nuck-the-fuck-up, as I like to put it… Others don’t listen to me, while others can’t comprehend. My mom admittedly puts off problems — that’s how this got that far out of control to begin with, putting off and putting off and putting off. I’m so fucking SICK of putting off, and yet part of me wants to PUT OFF going after this upper back tumor in order to go after the one that causing the problems I am having in my lower portion of my body.

“But for fucks sake” I can repeat all the negatives only so much while wanting something to happen and unfortunately nothing gets done.

I made mention above about my mom telling me she puts off — she also asked in that conversation if I want to move out and never got a straight answer from me. I told her I can’t afford to, that I don’t have the money to pay for it and what not… I didn’t tell her the obvious though, “Yes I want to move out. Yes I want to be on my own, have my own place, call my own shots and all that jazz which I haven’t been able to do since things started going downhill.”

**sigh**

Dreaming

I’ve talked briefly with people in the past about some problems I am having when I am sleeping. Some people have trouble sleeping because of insomnia, others have trouble sleeping because of being uncomfortable, while others have problems sleeping due to heartbreak while others have problems sleeping because of nightmares.

While I can get to sleep ok (now), I’ve been having a series of dreams that have the exact same topic or the exact same outcome. They’ve been going on for a while now and it’s getting to the point where I’m afraid of why they are still showing up with me.

The dream usually has me pinned against my family – my father, brother, mother do something to upset me and the entire duration of the dream I am hurt, enraged and sad at the same time and fleeing from them or trying to avoid them or being chased by them.

I’ve been trying to figure out just why I have these dreams and it’s pretty obvious that it’s got to be because of my arrangements in this household – I’m at the lower part of the food chain and I have to bend to their will more times than not. I feel oppressed and this need to escape and yet I feel like they will chase me down or force me to be part of their little circle again and again…

No wonder I feel like a child more times than not.

Of course, my dependence on them for normal things is part of the reason I feel like that. I can do plenty of things by myself but there is one thing (getting around) that I can’t (I don’t drive) and therefore I am stuck not being able to do what I please (that and money reasons :rolleyes ) more times than not.

SO what would get me to stop having these dreams? I don’t know for sure but independence and a change of scenery would help, I would think.