Tag: news

 

White Chicks

I started looking at my Summer Movie Preview edition of Entertainment Weekly (at newsstands everywhere starting today) and came across a picture I just couldn’t believe… I mean it REALLY had floored me…

On page 52 there is a preview for White Chicks and it’s Shawn “SW1” Waynes and Marlon Waynes done up as white girls… and the thing is — before I saw the trailer, I honestly couldn’t tell these were people in make up… let alone African-American…. Let alone the Waynes Brothers who I have known from various entertainment endeavors for close to 15 years now.

This isn’t the picture in the magazine (which takes place in a dance club) but it gives you a ghist of the two guys in drag… Quite a transformation, no? Not just gender but color too…

Thoughts on Pat Tillman — former NFL player killed in Afghanistan

Pat Tillman, former NFL player who gave up the game and turned his back on millions from the Arizona Cardinals to join the Army Rangers after 9-11, was killed while involved in the hunt for Osama Bin Laden and Al Qaeda in Afghanistan. I know at the time he joined up and news was everywhere about it, I was a little put back by this — for political reasons, admittedly — but now I have such a new appreciation for him and I can’t fathom the amount of sacrifice this man has made for America.

I wrote a couple of “Letters to the Editor” at the St. Petersburg Times over this, and I won’t repost it entirely because I took jabs at Simeon Rice, Defensive End for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and former Defensive End for the Arizona Cardinals who put down Tillman in general in the media after he enlisted (and personally I like taking jabs at that pompous son of a bitch when I can get the chance) but I did make the statement that Tillman has made the ultimate sacrifice for his country, and he is a prime example of why we here in America are able to enjoy the comforts we know and live a good life where we can do things like play a game for a living in the first place.

Tillman was fighting on the front that mattered IMHO… Someone attacks the US and you go find the source and deal with it… And to lose your life trying to stand up for your country… that just means a hell of a lot to me. That’s Patriotism, that’s what the government has distorted and perverted for Politics since 9-11 happened.

It further cements certain ideals in me… That Iraq was wrong (and costing us billions while costing US Soldiers their lives to fight for a rich man’s principles), that the War on Terrorism needs a new game plan, etc… Yet it gives me a better understanding of how and why we should appreciate the comforts we have…. Because these comforts were paid in the price of blood by many before us. It also makes me feel a monumental appreciation — that’s not even the right word, admiration might work better — for Tillman who gave it all up, who turned his back on MILLIONS to fight to protect his country. Fighting to protect makes me feel so much more for a war than fighting to spread an ideal. Vietnam was fighting to spread an ideal and it wasn’t the right thing to do. Iraq is fighting to spread an ideal and it’s spreading hatred instead and helping the forces we wanted to stop in Afghanistan It’s ironic I blasted Rice because I admire Defense so much more than Offense as these political statements make.

I could go on about political beliefs here and thoughts on war but this should be Pat Tillman’s post… because Tillman’s sacrifice can’t be dismissed.

Rest in peace, Pat Tillman. And let honor ring around your name as it rings around the names of those who have fallen before you to protect the nation and the world.

"The Edge" of Sanity

I decided to spin some tunes and do some writing – which hasn’t come easy the last couple of weeks — today. After some audio bullshit and sound card problems I finally got everything running smooth and I had a re-awakening from a song I used to love in Middle and High School —

Aerosmith’s Living On The Edge

I had written a paper about it years ago for my English class (Ms. Manson always supported us being free spirited and such… And encouraged us with music, poetry, writing, etc) and had taken the song too seriously, in a way, when I stated that one message from the song that could be taken was that we are living on the edge of sanity and sobriety.

Anyone who sees the pop culture and news headlines knows this to be true, so that was one thing that is very true about the lyrics of the song.

But then there’s a refrain that comes up twice in the song that I never really put two and two together with, even though it should be obvious for everyone.

If Chicken Little tells you that the sky is fallin’
Even if it wasn’t would you still come crawling
Back again
I bet you would my friend
Again and Again and Again and Again and a-

“Crawling back again” was the line that first hit me for social reasons when I listened to the first instance of this in the song, but then it started weighing on me about Chickie Little and the Sky falling. It’s talking about those who are determined to say that things are all wrong with the world — they’re too this, too that. Too much pollution, too much taxes, too much drug use, too much sex, too much media, too little intelligence, we’ve strayed to far from the church, we’ve got too much greed, too little oil, too few resour—

Hold it right there.

Something actually happens to be right in the world and even when we throw out politics and politically correctness and religion up to our asses. Everyone on either side off an issue knows the issue is wrong because they are experts on the issue and don’t want you to see the truth if it doesn’t fit into their billing. I don’t want to bring up any of my own political beliefs with this because I believe the song right now more than I believe in politics. More than I believe in government. More than I believe in religion and more than I believe in people.

Livin’ On The Edge

Hudson, Tyler, Perry

There’s somethin’ wrong with the world today
I don’t know what it is
Something’s wrong with our eyes

We’re seein’ things in a different way
And God knows it ain’t his
It sure ain’t no surprise

Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge

There’s somethin’ wrong with the world today
The light bulb’s gettin dim
There’s meltdown in the sky

If you can judge a wise man
By the color of his skin
Then mister you’re a better man than I

Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself from fallin’)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself at all)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t stop yourself from fallin’)
Livin’ on the edge

Tell me what you think about your sit-u-a-tion
Complication – aggravation
Is getting to you

If chicken little tells you that the sky is fallin’
Even if it wasn’t would you still come crawlin’
Back again
I bet you would my friend
Again & again & again & again & again

Tell me what you think about your sit-u-a-tion
Complication – aggravation
Is getting to you

If chicken little tells you that the sky is fallin’
Even if it was would you still come crawlin’
Back again
I bet you would my friend
Again & again & again & again

Something right with the world today
And everybody knows it’s wrong
But we can tell ’em no or we could let it go
But I’d would rather be a hanging on

….

Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Livin’ on the edge
{You can’t help yourself)
(You can’t help yourself)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself at all)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself)
(You can’t help yourself)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself)
(You can’t help yourself)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself from fallin’)
Livin’ on the edge
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you got to that now

&copy 1992 Swag Song Music company

Avoiding Responsibility

There are a couple of news stories I have come across on the Current Events forum on Skyscraperpage that have really got me irked right now, let me give you snippets of both:

Mother sues Coors over son’s death

RENO, Nevada (AP) — The mother of a 19-year-old killed in a traffic accident is suing Coors Brewing Co., claiming that it promotes underage drinking.

Jodie Pisco, of Reno, contends Coors has failed in its duty to protect the country’s youth from drinking. Her son, Ryan, was killed in 2002 after he drank Coors at a party and drove his girlfriend’s car into a light pole at 90 mph, the lawsuit says.

The lawsuit, filed Wednesday in Washoe County District Court, seeks unspecified damages. It accused Coors of “glorifying a culture of youth, sex and glamour while hiding the dangers of alcohol abuse and addiction.”

Story number two….

Columbine Father told to “Get a Life” by NRA
PITTSBURGH (AP) – A man whose son was killed in the Columbine High School shootings literally walked in his child’s shoes to the National Rifle Association convention, where he hoped Vice President Dick Cheney would address the federal assault weapons ban set to expire in September.
Tom Mauser, whose son Daniel was killed with an assault weapon in the Littleton, Colo., killings five years ago Tuesday, said continuing the ban is common sense.

Assault weapons “are the weapons of gangs, drug lords and sick people,” Mauser said before his three-block march to the convention, which runs through Sunday. “It is a weapon of war and we don’t want this war on our streets.”

Mauser challenged Cheney to speak about extending the ban when the vice president delivered the convention’s keynote address Saturday night.

However, there was no indication Saturday afternoon that Cheney would address the matter. He was expected to reaffirm President Bush’s position that the Second Amendment protects individual gun ownership and tout statistics that federal prosecutions of gun-related crimes have risen significantly under Bush’s presidency.

NRA spokesman Andrew Arulanandam called the assault weapon ban “nothing but an incremental effort to ban more firearms.”

Mauser entered the convention hall where the NRA was meeting, but was turned away by a security guard as several conventioneers applauded. A couple of conventioneers yelled “Get a life” and “Vote for Bush.”

:mad

I see two articles and I see two Americas. One is a land where soemoen tries to prevent tragedies from hitting other families while another wants to avoid responsibilites One tries to lobby to keep excessively dangerous items out of the mainstream and another triest to immerse themselves in money in order to saturate grief with green.

It angers me to no end.

That mother dodges all parental responsibilities and does not take into account her own failings for her sons death. Didn’t she ever tell him not to drink and drive? To get a ride if you are too intoxicated to drive? or NOT to drink at all? “You’re not old enough yet”? Does this woman think that she is the only one that has lost a child to under-age drinking, much less drinking and driving?

I’m sorry, ma’am, but your lawsuit is full of shit. There is this organization called Mothers Against Drunk Driving that has worked tirelessly to fight drunk driving, promote awareness and — this might scare you off — parental responsibility in keeping minors away from drinking. Instead of wasting hours of time in the courts, why not try to stop the problem before it starts and help others teach their children to be responsible? That would go too far against yoru principles, wouldn’t it? :rolleyes:

Yes, it’s a tragedy what has happened but at the same time it’s a tragedy when someone thinks a lawsuit will help erase their own irresponsibilities will make things all right. Budweiser and other alcoholic companies promote good times when drinking beer and that tends to be the truth… They also have commercials that say KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN and DRINK RESPONSIBLY. What will you do when you have this court case thrown out? Sue God for not answering your prayers? :rolleyes

Meanwhile we have Tom Mauser who’s so was murdered in the Columbine rampage. He goes into the lions den and preaches responsibility when talking about an assault weapons ban and what happens? Mauser is ridiculed, belittled and his tragedy overlooked.

I’d like to know where the NRA stands on personal responsibility with weapons and why offensive weapons need to be open to the public just as defensive weapons are? Anyone who tells me an AK-47 is a hunting weapon is full of shit, or that an Uzi is to be used to hunt Elk or some other animal. These are not defensive weapons but are made for carnage and offensive purposes. Someone who is attacking is going to use these not to defend their property but to take yoru own… Stopping these guns from making it out into the open market is a plus… Of course, Dick Cheney and the NRA side with gun makers and will tell you that owners are supposed to be responsible and they shoudln’t be limited into what types of weapons they own…

The problem with that logic is assuming all gun owners are going to be responsible – which they aren’t. There are no licenses in place for gun users and owners, though they do background checks on gun owners to make sure they don’t sell them to criminals, it’s not like once a gun makes it out into public it can’t end up in a criminals hands… And which guns are going to lead to more damage out in public? Assault Weapons killed 13 and injured 25 in columbine… Including Tom Mausers son. For Mauser to be told to get a life over encouraging the continuation of the assault weapons ban is to see how closed minded people are when there minds are made up. “Limiting guns in any way is just working towars a ban and that violates the right to bear arms in teh bill of rights!” Yeah? And when your son or daughter get gunned down, you still will be singing that tune just becuase the NRA is more important than family, isn’t it? :rolleyes

A day of Ups and Downs

I’ve been torn this evening on my mood for the day as it has changed over and over again from positive to negative to positive again. I’ve been walking around without the walker today – and when I say that I don’t mean walking and leaning on shit but walking walking a weird walk that was almost toddler like but I was doing it. That had me stoked to no end….

But then the other shoe fell as I got a message from my friend Michelle. Michelle has been a friend for a year now and it came as news to me, and as quite a shock when I found out that she will be moving to Brooksville in July as her family just bought land up there. I’m friend with her dad too and the fact we talk online mostly means I won’t have that relationship bothered much but to lose Michelle hurts.

Of course, this was made up for to me in the smallest of ways as the Lightning beat the Islanders and moved on to the 2nd round of the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs… But that really doesn’t help me feel better that a good friend is going away.

Letterman vs. CNN resolved — Tyler Crotty to appear on Late Show tonight

Well, CNN has apologized for denying what Letterman aired on TV the other night. Not only that but one of their anchors proposed she appear on Letterman as a “Stupid human trick” in the future :tongue

Personally I find this entire situation from a political standpoint, absurd but not unexpected.

Respect for him from 9-11 or disdain for the other 3 years on the job?

I was reading about global protests from yesterday’s 1 year anniversary of War in Iraq and, while reading a local article on local protests of the war, came across this gem of a quote that absolutely infuriated me with it’s ignorance:

“Man, did I ever come to the park at the wrong time,” said St. Petersburg resident Carole Hall.

Refuge Ministries’ Rev. Bruce Wright, 42, caught up with Hall as she walked away from the rally. After asking reporters not to talk to her because the media favors her point of view, Wright and Hall engaged in a heated conversation.

“The man has done a tremendous job,” Hall, 62, said of President Bush. “If only they would remember 9/11.”

It’s ignorance like this that really pisses me off when it comes to Americans support for George W. Bush. His administration is nothing when 9-11 isn’t considered and after 9-11? He has been nothing less than terrible. Lets look at the facts of the Bush administration for a moment, just a few bare facts: Hedismissed Richard Clarke’s assertion that there was an imminent terrorist threat and it should be taken seriously (the very cause of 9-11), he has attacked another nation on false pretense (I grew up when Saddam posed a REAL threat to the Middle East back in the late 80’s and early 1990’s), left numerous world treatieslead to their deaths hundreds of United States Armed Service Men and Women (and maimed thousands more) due to the false pretense of war, not to mention the “collateral damage” deaths in Afghanistan and Iraq since 2001), made the world a more hazardous place to live due to environmental laws that promote pollution, and of course how can we forget the corporate terrorism that has been in place since Bush came into power? Enron? Tyco? MCI Woldcom? The RIAA?

Not to mention the economy and the lack of attention to the nation.

So, I am supposed to forgive all of this? Should every American dismiss all of the above (and so much more) and simply look at George W. Bush for how he handled 9-11? Are you insane, Carole Hall, or are you just living in a bubble like so many people in America? :rolleyes

At least I was honest

Tuesday, my mom breaks the news to me that my brother Andrew’s dog had a litter of 3 puppies the night before.

I was sort of taken aback by this news — I didn’t know the sexes of Andy’s dogs to begin with, I didn’t know one of the dogs had become pregnant and I had no idea in hell that one of these dogs had given birth.

“So, his dogs have been screwing, huh?” was my immediate response… It earned me a blank stared and a gasped-like chuckle that lasted for several minutes…

When you don’t know the full story, folks, stick with the facts you do know… :smile

To continue the Gluttony trend of stories…

McDonald’s Salad Has More Fat Than Cheeseburger

LONDON (Reuters) – Global hamburger giant McDonald’s latest line in healthy looking salads may contain more fat than its hamburgers, according to the company’s Web Site.

McDonald’s, plagued by health critics and flattening sales, has launched the biggest change to its menu in 30 years with its plans to get into the multi-million pound prepared salad market.

“You can choose your salad, topping and dressing. You can mix and match to suit your diet and lifestyle,” said a McDonald’s spokeswoman.

However, consumers hoping to lose weight by switching from burgers to salads may be disappointed, according to the Interactive Nutrition Counter on the McDonald’s Web site.

For example, on the new menu to be launched at the end of this month, a “Caesar salad with Chicken Premiere” contains 18.4 grams of fat compared with 11.5 grams of fat in a standard cheeseburger.

The British Nutrition Foundation (BNF) told Reuters it welcomed the salad menu but warned that salad dressings bought in fast-food outlets or supermarkets could be very high in fat and calories.

BNF said the recommended daily fat intake for men is 95 grams per day and for women 70 grams per day.

Good thing I avoid McDonalds — that shit just ain’t healthy… For ANYONE

This just leads to one major question

Obesity, it is being reported everywhere, is fast approaching smoking as the #1 killer among Americans.

I’ve already gone off on this topic and my views on it, but seriously folks, with this “epidemic” going way out of control…

Where the fuck is Jane Fonda and her god damned workout tapes?!?

America needs you Jane! Get off your flabby ass and save us!!! :smile j/k

Wow — the SAG's shock the public — RE: Jonathan Brandis' Death

Well, you find out sooner than later and in this case it’s later instead of sooner.

I’m looking at my logs and everyone was searching Sunday Night for the news of Jonathan Brandis’ death after Brandis was mentioned during the Screen Actors Guild awards to have departed this world last year….

…And everyone ended up coming to der Stonegauge and the ongoing Brandis thread.

Bin Laden and Bushisms

A report that Bin Laden has been located in Pakistan and is being surrounded by American forces:

Bin Laden ‘surrounded’

A quote I find particularly amusing is:


The special forces are “absolutely confident” there is no escape for bin Laden, and are awaiting the order to go in and get him.

“The timing of that order will ultimately depend on President Bush,” the paper says. “Capturing bin Laden will certainly be a huge help for him as he gets ready for the election.”

Right… Lets see him hold off until just before the Republican National Convention to do so — boosting his ratings to the roof while Lurch continues his march to obscurity….

Pathetic…

FOXNews.com – Foxlife – TV Viewer Sues Over Janet Bra-Ha-Ha

Bank worker Terri Carlin (search) wants compensation for herself and millions of viewers “injured” by the lewd behavior of Jackson and fellow performer Justin Timberlake (search) during Sunday’s Super Bowl coverage.

On Wednesday Carlin filed a proposed class-action lawsuit in federal court in Knoxville, Tenn., against Jackson, Timberlake, broadcasters MTV and CBS and their parent company, Viacom.

Give me a break… This woman is just as pathetic – an opportunist – as a lawyer who chases after Ambulances in search of clients, or a hot woman who mariries a rich guy just before his death to inherit cash (hi Anna Nicole!)….

Just another reason why Tarpon Springs High School Sucks….

I graduated East Lake High School in 1997 — I’m a proud Eagle alumni and I stand by my school…. Even if it’s among-student motto is “Where Eagles spread there wings and girls spread there legs.”

That being said, E.L.H.S. has a rival that I have always had problems with — not just because they were our sports rival, but quality of schooling and what not.

The rival happens to be Tarpon Springs High School — the venerable Spongers. (side note — Always felt cheeky about the SNL skit with the cheerleaders that had the East Lake Spartans, even though it isn’t a true combination of the two schools in question).

So what has lead me to write about my revilement for Tarpon Springs High School? There was a story in the local paper today about a TSHS student being suspended for circulating an anti-Confederate Flag petition. If you listen to the news, this story is starting to break in the mainstream (as I found when I did a Google Search on the story)… That being said, I relaly am sickened by the stupidity that surrounds this.

Back in High School, and Middle School for that matter, there had to be a dozen petitions that were circulated that were unofficial and not going to change what the school does or allows. No one got suspended over these things. Heck, they protested the Rodney King verdict at my middle school and all they did was make martyr’s out of the kids for standing up for what’s right.

I don’t believe Krista Abram’s was doing anything wrong. Nor do I think those who back southern pride by wearing a symbol of racism should be let off the hook for wearing the confederate flag on campus. I realize that some southerners wear the rebel flag and wave it with pride as a symbol of heritage and not hatred, but there has been too much hatred shown to African Americans since the Civil War to get away without being accused that the Rebel Flag isn’t a symbol of hate or cannot be interperted as one.

What also bothers me is that those who are so immersed in southern pride and southern heritage haven’t searched for an alternative symbol that they could wear or wave or show off… Something that shows pride but doesn’t have a malignant past,.

Tarpon Springs High School went out of there way to blow up this situation with Krista Abrams – they’ve effectively screwed the pooch by making an incident of this. Krista’s petition – with no offense intended towards her or her cause (which I gladly support) – would have waned and faded if it was allowed to circulate among students but not actually get anywhere (even if it did reach the school’s principle, it could have been said to her that there was nothing he could or would do). Instead? Tarpon Springs High School is now going to be under a racial microscope. Not just that, Krista may have hate brought upon her, those trying to express Southern Pride may have hate brought upon them as well…

The entire situation has become a powderkeg, thanks to the ignorance of the vice principle at Tarpon Springs High School, Wayne McKnight.

Chilling Possibilities

Global warming will plunge Britain & Europe into new ice age ‘within decades’

A study, which is being taken seriously by top government scientists, has uncovered a change “of remarkable amplitude” in the circulation of the waters of the North Atlantic.

Similar events in pre-history are known to have caused sudden “flips” of the climate, bringing ice ages to northern Europe within a few decades. The development – described as “the largest and most dramatic oceanic change ever measured in the era of modern instruments”, by the US Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute, which led the research – threatens to turn off the Gulf Stream, which keeps Europe’s weather mild.

If that happens, Britain and northern Europe are expected to switch abruptly to the climate of Labrador – which is on the same latitude – bringing a nightmare scenario where farmland turns to tundra and winter temperatures drop below -20C. The much-heralded cold snap predicted for the coming week would seem balmy by comparison.

This might seriously put a damper on my plans to cross Abbey Road sometime in the near future…. :tongue

Seriously — the Gulf Stream turning off would lead to increased strikes of Hurricanes against the US east coast, the northeast’s winters would be much more chilling too….

Judith Dean worries

I love Judith Steinberg Dean. I respect the hell out of her as a mother, a wife, a doctor and of course a shy woman who doesn’t want the limelight. That being said, I also fear for her and Howard’s safety in the very near future.

Judy Dean, as her maiden name might clue you in about, is jewish… There is nothing wrong with Jewish people or those of Hebrew decent but of course there is always some ignorant moron somewhere in America that feels threatened by someone of this ethnicity.

I don’t want Judy to be a target of anyone’s hate. I don’t want Judy or Howard to be made examples of with regards to anti-Israeli sentiment. Howard Dean, Governor, Medical Doctor and candidate for the presidency of the United States, isn’t Jewish but the fact that he married someone of the Jewish faith might continue to make him a target of anti-Israeli sentiments.

Now, by my “anti-Israel” statements, I am not standing up for Israel. In fact, I find them just as guilty of terrorism as they keep finger-pointing towards the Palestinians. That being said, Israel has nothing to do with a medical doctor from Vermont.

I just hope, if any of these racist idiots are still lurking out there, that they realize this and don’t try to set one example or another by trying to commit some type of assault or attack against Judy Dean.

Long Overdue Sports Roundup

Well, I have totally avoided the subject of sports for the most part — I don’t mean certain sports topics because I know I have left a couple of sports entries the past month but I haven’t written much of anything with concern of los deportes since October 2003 with the Marlins winning the World Series, and there is always a vast allotment of things to talk about with regards to Pro Sports that I have passed over for the sake of just being a lazy ass….

So let me get cracking with regards to sports and my sports world here in Tampa Bay. Where shall I begin?

I made a post in October regarding the Bucs vs. Indianapolis Colts and expect the Bucs to get a win and my friend Bill’s new born niece to get a “birthday present”. I never, however, posted the fact that Los Buccaneeros de Tampa Bay went ahead and blew the game. That game and the utter let down by both the offense and the defense basically summed up the Bucs season from that point on — full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. The once dominating Tampa Bay defense turned into a shell of itself. The over-hyped Jon Gruden offense was a disaster area, committing penalty after penalty in order to kill drives and kill chances of victory. Former University of Florida offensive lineman Kenyatta Walker was horrendous with regards to committing infractions at the worst times….

And this was just the start of things.

Jon Gruden and Keyshawn Johnson clashed and Jon Gruden deactivated Keyshawn at midway through the season. This caused a great deal of conflict in the Buccaneers front office, along with other problems that weren’t known to the average Buc fan. Rich McKay, Buccaneer General Manager and son of it’s first head coach, Jim McKay, ended up leaving the team because of conflicts with Gruden. Some people might have sided with Jon Gruden and his “Just win, baby” style that he picked up from Al Davis while he coached with the Raiders, but I’m someone who believes that McKay was the more-valuable between the two. McKay built the Buccaneer team that went on to win the Super Bowl in 2003. He helped turn the Buc franchise around from perennial losers to the winning franchise it has been the last 6 years.

But now he’s been shown the door…

He wasn’t very fond of some of the low-quality personnel that Jon Gruden was after — low quality when it comes to moral standards and length-of-rap-sheets and I am one that agrees on that. I guess it’s the fact that I saw Tony Dungy – a high quality person and a moral leader – come into the Bucs, change them into winners on field, and expect players to perform on field and be respectable off it as Dungy did. When players got into trouble while Dungy was head coach, it would mean that you would soon be shown the door if your infraction was big enough. I’m not talking about missing team meetings, I’m talking about crimes that players get away with so often in society.

The Bucs finished 7 and nine, there worst finish since 1998. Looking at 2004 with Gruden and Ray Allen, newly hired GM from the Raiders, in charge…. i don’t hold optimism toward the team for one reason or another. Maybe it’s parity alone that spoils my optimism for the club or perhaps it is the “Just win” attitude? The mystique is gone for the time being… When it returns for me is anyone’s guess.

Meanwhile, the Tampa Bay Lightning seem on a rebound as of late after falling into the gutter through November and December. After a white-hot start, the team fizzled through the next 24 games and only now dseem to be turning the corner back towards winning – and even now, that isn’t certain. Looking at the problems the Bolts have faced, I have been somewhere in the middle with regards to firing John Tortorella or just making a trade to shake up the roster and bring in some new blood. I personally believe that a new player – an upper echelon type of guy, could have helped the team get back to winning but hindsight is 20-20… it also might have led to destroying the chemistry of the team…

Pete Rose is all over the news because he finally came out and admitted he bet on Baseball. It’s an awkward situation because Rose took the hoopla away from the Hall of Fame ballotting that happened this week and also hasn’t won over any traditionalists in baseball. The sympathizers (like myself) think Pete should be in the hall regardless… The traditionalists think the lifetime ban should stay in place because now there is proof Rose committed the cardinal sin of Baseball by betting on games…

Only time will tell if Pete gets his just due and gets enshrined in the hall.

Traditionless

I was flipping through the cable channels this evening and came across ESPNews, which was reporting a trade between the New York Knicks in the NBA and another team. I started thinking about the Knicks name, which is short for Knickerbockers, and how classy/traditional the name is in a sense that it just seems totally old school…

It then occured to me that any or every NBA player has to ask themselves what the hell a Knickerbocker is. They also probably wonder why the team is keeping such a lame name…

Welcome to the NBA.

You look at the other professional sport leagues and not only are names with non-modern/urban undertones in existence, but there are traditions stacked upon traditions in each league. The NHL has the hat trick — which leads to caps thrown onto the ice. Major League Baseball has the 7th Inning Stretch. The NFL has the coin flip, gatorade dousings and individual traditions (as do MLB and teh NHL) such as the Lambeau Leap and the Thanksgiving Day games involving the Cowboys and the Lions….

What does the NBA have?

The NBA has rapists, drug abusers, teenagers who skipped College for the money and shoe deals with Nike. The NBA has arrogance and individualism. The NBA tries to be one big highlight reel of slam dunks….

And people wonder why I don’t follow the sport?

While fans in Detroit are tossing Octopi onto the ice at Joe Louis Arena to celebrate a Red WIngs goal, and while Yankee fans are dancing to Rock and Roll Part Two (the Hey song) or YMCA between innings, NBA fans have mascots doing basketball tricks and players bitching at each other and making threats. While the Buccaneers have their pirate ship firing after a touchdown (a relatively new tradition), the NBA has gimmick slam dunks that everyone tries to imitate.

Michael Jordan is not the norm of the NBA — he’s just the most imitated player.

Freaky – the name game

It’s scary when you are reading a newspaper article that has nothing to do with anything you are interested in and then you see your name come up in front of you.

Not just your first and last name but your middle initial too…

I’m reading about the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino being opened by the Seminole Indians near downtown Tampa in today’s St. Petersburg Times and this quote jumps up and smacks the shit out of me:

“In a hotel-casino environment, you’re kind of like a little city,” said John P. Fontana, general manager for the hotel and casino. “You need everything.”

…I’m a casino General Manager? Jeez, my father would be so proud…

This just makes me want to officially switch my name reference to J. P. Fontana with official functions, because I can’t destinguish myself from all the other John Fontana’s that are around…

In memorium…

Seems John remains absent, so here I am again. Today, a little more personal.

I just realized (it is 10:30 PM) that today is the 5th anniversary of my aunts murder. I also realized that I completely missed the 21st anniversary of my fathers death on the ninth. Two days from now will be the 7th anniversary of the death of one of my classmates.

I’m not sure what suprises me more. That it has been this long since all of these tragedies affected my life (and there are more), or that there have been so many of them that I cant even keep track of it anymore.

As you might now guess, Christmas isnt much of a celebratory day in my household. At least, on this holiday season, I have yet to see my family mentioned in one of those “be thankful for what you have” stories newspapers like to write.

In short, be thankful for what you have. Remind your loved ones how much you appreciate them this christmas. A few words are far more profound than some cheesy toy picked up at Walmart.

RIP Keiko / Willy

Keiko, star of ‘Free Willy’ movies, dies in Norway

Keiko, star of ‘Free Willy’ movies, dies in Norway

Sudden onset of pneumonia kills famous orca

SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER STAFF AND NEWS SERVICES

Keiko, the killer whale made famous by the “Free Willy” movies, has died in Norwegian coastal waters where he remained after millions of dollars and a decade of work failed to coax him back to the open sea, his caretakers said early today.

The whale, which was 27, died yesterday afternoon after the sudden onset of pneumonia in the Taknes fjord. He was old for an orca in captivity, although wild adult orcas live an average of 35 years.

David Phillips, executive director of the San Francisco-based Free Willy-Keiko Foundation, said Keiko had been in good health but started showing signs of lethargy and loss of appetite on Thursday.

“This is a long, sad day for us,” Phillips said.

One of his handlers, Dale Richards, said Keiko died quickly. “We checked his respiration rate, and it was a little irregular … he wasn’t doing too well,” Richards told The Associated Press. “Early in the evening, he passed away.”

I was working for Weblink Communications in 1998 when the entire Keiko-to-freedom movement was really coming to a head and he was being moved to not only his new aquarium in the Pacific Northwest but then back to Iceland.

I can remember seeing the streaming video of Keiko (still in the Pacific Northwest) slamming his tail just before being lowered into his new aquarium where he was nursed back to health… There were thousands watching in person – children, Media, others – and they were all ecstatic to see Keiko reacting like this…

I continued following him in Iceland and his escapades there. Then Norway after last summer, when Keiko was “let loose” from his pen in Iceland and swam, on his own, to a fjord in Norway, back into captivity of sorts.

Keiko will always have my imagination and my hope — and though I don’t know when this re-introduction-to-the-wild will be tried again, I hope it does hapen. There are too many animals that live in squalor to entertain us that would be better off free.

Blog / Newsfeed Recommendations

I cleared out some of my News / RSS feeds on Trillian Pro 2.0 the other day because the sites in general weren’t getting updated much and basically waiting another few months for a new story on a site like Bush / Orwell ’04 was lame.

SO what doe sthat mean?

It means I am running out of sites and blogs that amuse me. Damnit, that isn’t a good thing.

Now, for my blogdrive friends and livejournal friends as well — I’m sorry but this doesn’t apply to you when I complain about needing new and more newsfeeds. This mainly goes out to news sites and MT type blogs because they can generate newsfeeds through their software (I am NOT going to explain what the hell RSS is :tongue).

I am looiking for more sites to add and read daily… ANy suggesitons out there?

I mean, one of the sites I subscribe to is Howard Dean’s blog — http://blogforamerica.com. Another is Defective Yeti which tends to be amusing more often than not… another great blog is Lies.com… It’s after those three that I have problems finding something entertaining.

Oh well, enough of this ramble. I don’t think anyone will have feedback on my problem but I appreciate it if you could suggest valuable newsfeeds or sites you believe are worthy newsfeeds.

Jonathan Brandis DOA

Is anyone aware that Jonathan Brandis died?

For the few out there that have no clue who he is at first mention of the name, he was one of the teenage heart-throbs of the early 1990’s. He was a guy who was coveted for TV and movie roles – a tee4n that was coveted for those roles at least – and he was someone who got the BOP covers and stuff like that.

Well, Jonathan is dead.

It came as a shock for me to see this bit of news. I had been wondering whatever happened to him and things like that – he had starred with Rodney Dangerfield in Ladybugs, had some NBC adventures in Seaquest DSV but basically disappeared once he reached that peculiar age of being a teen and a young adult. You know, sort of like Macaulay Culkin and how he disappeared for a bunch of years and stuff like that.

But Brandis, though I haven’t cared to look up details on anything about him since his Seaquest Days, was so down on life that he committed suicide or was believed to have committed suicide which ended his life the week before at the age of 27.

I don’t know why I get chills thinking about that, or why I am so disturbed by this, I guess it’s to see a part of my childhood end his life tragically like this, and with barely any acknowledgment that just…. bothers me. He was bigger than a brief mention in Entertainment Weekly, though he could be poster boy for queer from what anyone growing up around you would tell you… he just looked too pretty boy to believe… but he was the It boy and… Well, I salute him here — Rest in Peace Jonathan. You did have some fans out there and they will not forget you.

**UPDATE** 4-09-04
I’d like to point site visitors to http://jonathanbrandis.org/ I am not sure if they are officially tied to Brandis but it sure as hell looks official while my little rag tag blog has nothing to do with Jonathan besides being a fan who spoke out on Brandis’ death while the media overlooked it

Pre-op

For those of you who have never had to spend a day in the hospital, being forced to wait a gods age to talk to a doctor for a few minutes before being shuttled along to another doctor… I hope you never have to go through the Pre-Operation experience which I have so adequately have down.

I spent the majority of my day at Tampa General Hospital, hob knobbing in Harborside Plaza before being shuttled through the Pre-Op area of the main hospital… Where I got to re-read the bad news that I may be a paraplegic after my scheduled operation Wednesday.

Yes, that’s right folks. A guy who used to be able to walk being forced to use a wheelchair for the remainder of his days perchance… You don’t meet many of these people often… Normally when you find out someone has been forced into a wheelchair, you assume there was an accident.

Mine’s genetics…

At any rate, I’ve been down a good part of the day after reading some stuff my Doctor wrote about the gravity of the operation… It made em miss, it made me want, it made me hurt, it made me want to cry (and I know I did at times – just sobbing to myself when no one was looking). I could have used a shoulder to lean on…. but it would seem that between people’s choices and the course of fate, some doors you have to walk through all alone.

…which is, sadly, a very common experience for myself… Or at least that is how I feel about it.

I’ve got my friends, I’ve got my family but at the same time – I am missing something… *sigh*

Freedom is a beautiful thing, just not in America

Boston.com / Latest News / World / Ahead of stormy visit to Britain, Bush says Britons’ sacrifices in Iraq not in vain

Last week, Bush said he was not bothered by the planned protests. ”I’m so pleased to be going to a country which says that people are allowed to express their minds,” he said. ”That’s fantastic. Freedom is a beautiful thing.”

So, El Presidente Estupido, if freedom is such a beautiful thing, how come you force protestors in your own country into free speech zones?

Of course, while you are over in Britian, you aren’t going to be able to have an iron fist dictatorship to keep you from seeing negativity aobut yoru visit… Youc an preach about freedom, but it doesn’t mean you grant it in the country you rule.

This si going to hurt

Ah damn, Howard… Why do I get the feeling you just fucked up big time?

REALLY great show of Support for Kobe

Oh yeah, this is really going to convince me that we should give Kobe Bryant the benefit of the doubt — a crazy asshole / convicted rapist is lobbying to clear Kobe because — hey! Rough sex is rough sex and all athletes deserve a little pussy now and again :rolleyes :puke

In other sports news — Grady Little got the axe after blowing Game 7 of the ALCS by leaving in his pitcher just a BIT too late…

:woot :woot :woot :woot :woot

Too Little, too late though….

Looking in all the wrong places

Someone from HS pops up on the web and you can’t get their email… unless you pay

Actually you can if you search hard enough. I guess I haven’t because I just can’t find the damn thing wherever I look….

In other news, you can review the comments on the test I gave if you want to know results or just want to comment on the damn thing….

Not much else to report- unproductive week and my legs aren’t doing well at all. I really need to stop pussyfooting around with things and get my ass in gear with something or other to mend my situation.

Propaganda and my take

Heh

Not one of my better comments, but I still find them amusing. This stems from a post on Howard Dean’s web log about a propaganda journal that Herr Bush is using on his re-election campaign. Scroll up to see that post.

Slow Day

This was a day of surprise and un-accomplishments. A day of procrastination and aggravation along with laziness and hope. It was a day of knowing what i have to accomplish and not going out and doing it — you can be shown the door, shown the path, but only you can walk it through.

I know I have to get back to writing – I have to try to contact Lou Fisher once again and just let him know I am ok and all that. Long Ridge’s website wasn’t working well for me before and after my operation and I am hesitant to try-try-again. I haven’t even looked at Assignment 5 nor have I done an edit of Assignment 4 using Lou’s recommendations but I know i will have to put my nose to the grindstone soon on that.

I haven’t heard from PIF Magazine or Glimmer Train magazine with regards to my entries to their publications from last month — one was a contest entry and I shouldn’t hear back until November (from Glimmer Train) but PIF is supposed to be a monthly publication and I have heard crap from them.

So what was the surprise? Take the good with the bad. It was sort of wacky the fact I had thought to re-iterate to Sarah yesterday (but didn’t, mind you) that she can use my journal to vent any time she wants to. Lo and behold an email from her this morning saying she had done just that after a crappy night. The other surprise — of the bad sort — is my left leg continuing to be weak as hell. Not just that but the fact fo the matter is I don’t know if the leg is there, from how it feels, and it effects my balance and everything else. Walking is a burden with it because I can’t seem to control my knee or my ankle.

Yeah, bad news folks.

And you thought all my entries were going to start being of substance and quality again? Shame on you!

My old "buddies" strike again

Well, well, well… So much as for writing an entry about faith in this space at this time… Something else came up and I thought it was worthy of a posting. I have some old friends that are in the news again and up to their old antics.

“Old friends” you ask? Surely you have heard of the law firm Sonnenschein, Nath and Rosenthal before, haven’t you? No? Honestly not? If I told you they are the firm representing the most influential pop band of the 20th century, maybe you would get a clearer picture of who they are?

The Beatles / apple Corp Ltd’s lawyers.

Apple Corp LTD — founded by John, Paul, George and Ringo all those years ago after the death of Brian Epstein (their manager) — has sued Apple Computers over trademark infringement which makes me wonder just what the hell those lawyers do in their spare time. “Lets go ahead and shake up the industry as much as we can because, damnit, we have clients that are worth billions and we should have a piece of the pie.”

Why do I care? Anyone close to me should know that is a very silly question… I, after all, have already been under the wrath of this very law firm and Apple Corp LTD. Everyone close to me knows this and any constant reader probably would have heard me bellyache already about this. I just find it sick – and sad – where the corporate embodiment of four guys who preached the dreams of life, would try to pinch pennies and make up millions upon millions of dollars by nit-picking issues with a company that has absolutely nothing to do with them.

There’s no mistaking Apple Corp LTD. and Apple Computers… I guess Lawyers just sit around and try to find out where else they can go to get more money through legal fees.

Downed

T minus a day and a matter of hours.

I ranted to a few people today about how I am right now and I really came to the clear realization I don’t like focusing on myself. I mean, I’ve been called selfish when I’m being a pain in the ass but I’m high strung with certain things — picky-choosy. That’s not being selfish. Being selfish is doling out one’s life over and over again and making yourself the subject of items. I don’t like to do that when I have bad news to share, I’d rather share the positives and we all know things aren’t exactly positive for me right now. Then again, i can share my negatives when I know I’m truly SHARING with someone and it isn’t just a casual relationship.

I also need something to prop me up, I guess, emotionally. Fluff my ego and all that. Friends have wanted to help me out if they can but there’s not much one can do to help. Some have said “I wish I could take away your problems” — that’s likewise. Others can just agree that things suck right now and get brash on the fact I’m down… While others ignore it, maybe it’ll go away?

A venerable cornucopia of reactions to a NF2 patient who’s about to have an operation on his spine.

In other news, I forgot to tell you all that Lou got back to me with lesson four and….

Loved it!

Oh, yeah, I still need to work on things. For all of my reviewing of the story (previously published on this site, “Thank god for Arthur” and my editing down of the story, it still had a few flaws, but it really came out good. I need to be more clear with italics (I tried a technique some authors use with italicizing personal thoughts, which was a no no),and get more comfortable with dialogue (I’m actually comfortable with it, it’s grammar around dialogue and quotes that I need to work on) but all in all…

“Mavelous, dahling!”

Any requests to see the finished product?

Funny Bones, lack of drones

I am SO disturbed…


corrupt thy children! Worth 1000

He he he he… I don’t know what’s more disturbing – me laughing my ass off at these pictures or me forcing them on other people? .

So things aren’t much better for me as it stands right now – and I’m talking on many levels here when I say this. I’ve had ideas to write but I haven’t gotten them down on paper or on the journal. I called Doc Smith’s office today and what happened? I got told to fax him after telling his secretary I have no fax. Hmmphf. Figures, right?

I suggest to a friend that they write a satire article and submit it to Red Tide News because the one’s he has been posting on the Buccaneer usenet newsgroup have been funny as hell… And what happens? I get some asshole snipping at me because he believes no one goes to Red Tide News any more and that my firend in question woudl be better off posting on the Newsgroup where he would get “much more traffic”…. Right….

In other news… I’ve actually brought myself to venture back onto the venerable and everlasting FanBone. Not much though, seeing I am just out of it with sports. I am not in it with politics either even though everyone should think otherwise with that…

Sleep-Deprivation: The source of Famine the world over

Insomnia sucks…

I mean it really sucks. Sure, it’s 2:30 when I write this — in the afternoon. This was after I was up till close to 5 AM just tossing and turning and trying to find something to help me drift off into golden slumbers.

My mind was running in circles and honestly I should have just gotten up and written for a while in order to find some escape – that was working for me earlier this summer… The thing is I want to write explanations and at the same time – explanations are why I ended up taking actions that need to be explained in the first place.

That’;; make sense to no one. Maybe that’s my sleep deprivation talking, I don’t lnow… can someone pass me the espresso?

In other news, I spent 3 hours at Andy’s place yesterday afternoon… It’s got a ton of potential but at the same time – it’s a pigsty and grossly outdated. At least one of the bathrooms need to be totally gutted and replaced, the kitchen and “pool room” as Andy described it, hast a ton of potential… The living room / dining room remind me of my uncle Alan’s place… Oh, but the view in the backyard is stellar with the pond back there. I really need to take some digital snapshots of the house when I get a chance – hopefully this weekend…

Internet Boogie

So anyway….

I’ve been finishing going over assignment 4 and I actually killed off the happy-ending for the sake of the plot twist. Not so much a plot twist but a more realistic ending. If I had 2500 words or more, I probably would have further gone into things but alas – 2000 words is the limit and I’ll stay under it, thank you very much.

Meanwhile, I’ve been over at Blog for America and doing my regular political shuffle over at Kill the Web the past few days… Pretty often in fact… All of this and I’ve also been over at DeanFilter.com trying to add news bits here and there. I could use some help to be honest, because I don’t think I’m keeping things news-worthy….

Then again, I could also invest more time in this stuff… I proposed to Toe that it would be beneficial if I started coming up with some heavy political satire to go along with his outrageous and much loved/detested Gwbush04.com web site. I mean, just LOOK at this beautiful stuff he’s writing on his own…

Makes you wanna join the party, don’t it??

At any rate, I need to get my shit together and send out assignment 4… Also calling Doctor Smith’s office is going to be a necessity if I can’t find out some details about surgery or get in touch over the web…

Kobe Bryant and the Spoils of an NBA Star

Saving a post from KillTheweb.com’s blog because we may be getting rid of it. Want to save this before it goes the way of the dodo

I think by now all of you Kobe Bryant case. Maybe you’re thinking his accuser is just a gold digger, maybe you’re thinking Kobe is just another sports-star-turned-human?

In all likelihood, this is a guy who’s spoiled life from the age of 18 has finally caught up with him.

Think about it – Kobe went in the NBA draft, forgoing college, and was selected by the now relocated Charlotte Hornets. What did he do? He whined, saying he wouldn’t play in the Carolina’s and manipulated his way to Los Angeles.

Nice start to a career, isn’t it? Being handed millions upon millions of dollars just to suit up for a team and then saying “No! I don’t want to! Not there! Nooooooooo!”

He’s played some great games but he’s also been a selfish bastard at times, complaining he wants more, wants more, “I wanna be featured!”

There’s no I in team, Kobe.

And of course, even if things get settled in his favor, he’s gotta patch things up with his wife… a 4 million dollar ring helps for starters but… Um… That just proves how materialistic a society we are, and if she really wants to prove that with him – take him for half of everything he owns in divorce.

Kobe needs a wake up call — and this experience will be that, unless things are manipulated in his favor once again.

Lethargy

I can’t believe how my day has gone. My highlights are falling down earlier, getting my head hit by the door when Mike entered the room, watching some of Fellowship of the Ring, trying to figure out how many hours +/- General Mean Time I need to set Tampa Bay For Dean and writing about one paragraph on the newest short story I am writing.

Wooo fucking hoo hoo. Wild day at the office. It’s a good thing there haven’t been many on this journal lately because honestly – the news I am reporting should bore the shit out of anyone.

A whole lot of blah

A whole lot of blah being served up on patrami, hold the pickle.

I’m talking to Miguel about guest-blogging in here for me while I am out of it. i might offer that option to a few others. It’s not so much so he can report about me as he can just try to keep the journal going while I am out of commission later in the month.

I mean, he’s no Howard Dean who guest-blogged for a professor at Stanford, but he’s one damn good “journal”ist.

In other news – I can’t bring myself to finish a story I started that was going to be very short. A guy getting flowers annonymously while at work. Seemed like a good premise and it is – I actually got a resolution drawn out and know how it’s going to end. I’m just being lazy in actually putting the words down onto the document (“paper” doesn’t apply because I am typing, damnit).

Besmirched!

Everyone knows about getting a song stuck in your head, or has suffered it at one point or another… Sitting around and suddenly the opening verse from The Facts Of Life just will not escape from your head (You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life, the facts of life….) or perchance you get a song from the radio in your head that is getting a ton of airplay but it’s gnawing at you — asking you to think about it over and over again.

Yeah, you know exactly what I mean

I’m sitting around here and I’m not having a song get stuck in my head (though me bringing up The Facts Of Life theme seems to have forced it into my head)… It’s actually a single word getting stuck in my head and pleading for attention.

Besmirched.

I don’t get it really, I honestly don’t… You see the word once or maybe you hear it or something like that and you want to make it a part of your vocabulary — even though I have no reason to use the word at all and it just doesn’t feel right when I say it… Besmirched. Besmirched. Besmirch… BLAH! This is like me making transgression part of my vocabulary when I thought I had wronged someone royally (well, I had… She trumped me though and got even )….

I am besmirched by my word choice and feel slandered! OH THE HUMANITY!

So I’m feeling like crap – feverish even though I am not sick… I FEEL sick… Maybe I have a cold? I went to bed around midnight last night – kept waking up hot and flushed (not sweating). It’s a good thing I wasn’t sharing the bed with anyone because i would have kept them up.

In other news – I want to network mine and my parents computer and my father is being an ass – like usual – dragging his feet with indifference. The problem is his indifference is leading to him tying up the phone all the time because he’s a Net addict now.

Johnny's Screwed

Finally
I get some help after bitching about falling forward.

I turn out
the lights and I fall forward. I cover up my eyes while I am free standing and
I fall forward. I pull off my shirt and I fall forward or backward.

My leg may
not have "given out". I may have suffered a falling-forward spell.

Last night
I had another loss of balance with the lights off — I’ve dealt with them on
and off since 1997 and this time something happened that scared me — after
grabbing a hold of something and steadying myself (the doorframe to the bathroom)
I felt a jarring in my head. You see, every time I upset a benign tumor somewhere
in my body, I end up getting a bit of a jarring sensation from it. This time
it came from my head.

It pissed
me off and upset me greatly because I was willing to deal with this back in
APRIL, let alone wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. My parents encouraged
me to wait with money and other things becoming a factor.

Now my back
is taking away sensation from my legs. My head gives me aches and has thrown
my balance off. My motor skills (my legs) are awkward at best. Things are deteriorating.

After everything
happened last night I sat down and I actually started sobbing to myself because
I felt walled in. If I told my parents about it they may very well do the putting
off again. "But the doctor said…" — The doctor said MONTHS ago!
MONTHS ago for Christ sake and I’m falling apart right in front of you! That’s
how it’s always felt with my family – I made a case for something with me, they
downplayed it or played ‘ignore it, maybe it will go away."

That’s just
another reason why I get pissed when people put off (or when I procrastinate
and put off) — you let things sit and feaster they get worse. Not better.

So after
I sobbed to myself I wrote my father an email (because it was something like
1:30 in the morning) before sitting down to read The Gunslinger (edited
version which wasn’t as good as the original)] telling him that we can’t keep
putting off and that something has to be done.

I got up
this morning and presto – he told me I had an MRI Wednesday at 1 (tomorrow where
I sit) and see Dr.
Bartels
ont he 25th. I just wanted to say "What took you so fucking
long?" but that would have been pushing my luck. I honestly would have
dealt with this in the spring instead of letting myself rot as I’ve been forced
to. I can’t walk well, I couldn’t run for a while (and I blamed it all on the
back stuff — HA! I knew better!). I can’t stand or keep my balance and I get
headaches as well as other minor things… And yet everyone can put off because
it’s John and he bitches and whines like that.

In other
news I edited Assignment 2 from Der
Long Ridge
though I may have already mentioned that in a recent journal
entry. It comes off a bit stiff still but it’s hard to present charisma in under
1000 words. It’s also not the most flattering piece but at the same time —
it really demonstrates the perception of knowing something and wanting something
and then realizing you can’t have it even though circumstances present themselves
that give you that perception.

The Doors are Open

I’ve been thinking of the
Doors a lot lately. I downloaded video music clips a few months ago off Kazaa
Lite and of course i have been enjoying them (even though the audio is ratty
on Light My Fire performed at the Ed Sullivan Show) to no end. Moonlight
Drive, Break on Through
, Touch Me — excellent through and through.
I’ve long been a fan of Mr. Mojo Risin’s poetry and verse.

So watching the video for
Touch Me (which was performed live by the Doors on the Smothers Brothers show)
I noticed a little anomaly that featured guitarist Robbie Krieger with a nice
shiner on his left eye. Curious, I went and asked about it on the Usenet newsgroup
alt.music.the-doors…

And was re-introduced to
anal-final-word-on-the-Doors-author Patricia Butler.

Ms. Butler wrote Angels
Dance and Angels Die
which is a biographical account of Jim Morrison and
Pamela Courson (Jim’s wife). Butler, however, seems to think that what anyone
else wrote in their books is fictitious or if anyone takes something from their
books and had it put into The
Doors
by Oliver Stone
, it’s completely fictitious… which is bullshit.

Look, not everything written
is a factual statement or a exactly-how-it-happened account, yet when John
Densemore
, Jerry
Hopkins and Danny Sugerman
all concur on a story — I’m going to accept
that as a fact and not believe a woman who wasn’t there. I mean Hopkins wasn’t
"there" but Sugerman
was (as a kid)
. Densmore was the god damned drummer in the band. I am going
to believe what he says over what Patricia Butler says any
day.

Anyway, it’s another pleasant
valley Sunday here in status-symbol land. I think I’m going to go find Mr. Green
(who’s so serene with a TV in every room) and tell him a thing or two about
living in excess and glamor.

I'm Ranting on Ranting and non-fiction!

I don’t get it. I honestly don’t fucking get this.

How come an opinionated asshole like myself has written dozens of rants on topics from local roads to Dubya and had them published as letters to the editor in the newspaper, has had thousands of rants (be they sports related and or political related or music related or what) posted on message boards across the Internet, and yet I don’t feel comfortable at all writing out this non fiction assignment?!? UGH!

I mean, you do a search on Google for me + the St. Petersburg Times and the following is just some of what will show up (you’ll have to scroll down for each of these letters most of the time:

Abolish the DH

Super Bowl Broadcast sucked

Light Rail should be Joint Venture

Rail Transit Plans have some big holes in them

"Sunset
Point crossroads needs Overpass"
– only one of several letter’s I’ve
written with regard to US 19

"Mass
Transit Could work if Counties combined efforts"

"Self Serving Voters"

"What if views had been conservative?"

"We Didn’t Deserve the Olympics"

Scientology and Anti-semitism displayed in St. Pete Times letters section

Elian Gonzales

That’s just a brief glimpse of stuff I’ve ranted about. Plus those who know my journal know full well I have ranted on and on about other things and other concerns of mine in here… I already made mention of that in a recent entry into this journal.

It drives me friggin’ INSANE knowing I can write all these short quips about things that concern me but now that I have to write 1000 words on them I’m shit out of nerve to do it. Someone pinch me, someone cuddle with me and someone re-assure before smacking me and telling me to snap out of it and get with it, that this is no big thing and I’m making a mountain out of a molehill.

Stumblin' on a Neon Grove

I’m really struggling right now personally. The soul-sickness is just progressively getting worse instead of getting better. I had felt better a few weeks ago after I had identified the problem and I had other people come back into my life in minor ways here and there and things seemed to be getting back to normal.

Then others reared there head without thinking I needed time and distance from them and the whole deck of cards came crumbling down because of it. My last entry closes out by saying exactly why the deck of cards fell. Time heals wounds and I wasn’t afforded time, so to speak.

And now nothing feels right in the world again. Nothing at all. People don’t get back to me, people don’t want to open up. The entire world has gone conservative besides those who can afford to open their heart – those who never truly left my life and are comfortable with me being a part of it because they have security around them and they want me secure too.

So I wake up in the morning right now and I don’t see a reason to get out of bed — maybe my set routine of reading the newspaper or taking a shower ends up doing it — but I struggle from that point on. I’ve reached out to friends, strangers and others in the past few weeks but I still feel hollow inside, a hole in my soul if you will. I keep expecting something to come up and distract me from all of this – something I can invest myself in that doesn’t require me to dwell on my thoughts as my writing does, and that investment of time and thought cure me of what ills me… Yet that does not happened. Target talked about wanting me back when they fired me but they have not acted like it, my limbs are too weak right now for me to do work anyway (and that is an entirely different story).

I feel like I ought to close up shop — no one in or out of my life unless they are attempting to reach me, not me pouring out my heart and soul to others like I have done. I spent hours last night trying to get into someone’s head and help them out but… It just bummed me out at the same time. I brought this person up in an entry called Seeing Past Yourself last month… And unfortunately no one seems to be able to do that – see past your own personal wants and own personal logic and look from someone else’s shoes and try to understand them and try to comfort them.

I don’t hold out hope for the human race as it stands right now – i always had such a longing desire to see Man overcome it’s weaknesses and selfishness and thrive to better everyone on the planet… Instead, we want to be paid, fed and fucked… And that just continues the stumbling of my head and heart on the neon groves.

Dated Material

Whoa.

Taking a casual aquaintence out for a date was something I haven’t done which seems sad and pathetic but when it’s someone off the internet – you must be careful. Tonight I had my first true experience with it and I am not regretting it in the least bit.

In fact, I’m trying my Freud to see what it means. It was conversation , it was hanging out, it was a link to the past and what could have — no SHOULD have – been if I had some nerve several years ago and did what I should have done and asked out a more than casual aquaintence because of my feelings for her.

It’s not that things clicked especially well — I was my usual self and I was just meeting this girl for the first time in reality. It was the nostalgia I had when I got to watching this girl and seeing her reactions and mannerisms and…

This isn’t the past. This isn’t who I was comparing this girl to. It was a totally seperate being with totally seperate plans for life and totally seperate goals. Someone that I am just getting to know. Not someone I knew. Someone I want to know more about – maybe need to know more about.

Anyway, she wants to hang out again sometimes soon — which is cool by me. Danny-boy wants to hang out when he is down here. Maybe a group outing would be a way to go about things? We’ll see.

Yes, this makes it easier for me to understand some people’s actions – but doesn’t forgive them one iota for their cowardice or Selfish at the same time. I imagine at one point you’re going to think “I guess he doesn’t want to talk to me…” That’s not quite the truth — you haven’t even tried to be a friend to me or make amends as a friend. That might work with the Erie lot (just put it off, it’ll go away) but it doesn’t work in the real world. Why should I talk to you if you’re going to act like you did nothing wrong in how you broke the news to me, or act in general like you don’t want to talk to me? Two negatives don’t make a positive.

Swan Song — SING!

So me and Bill Erickson got to talking about things and I had been really concerned with some local news I had been reading concerning the state budget, local school budget cuts and the basic needs (assistant principles, aids for disabled students) being forced to be let go in an effort to meet the significantly tighter budget demands (all thanks to Tallahassee and their lack of willingness to raise taxes to fund education)….

Bill started telling me about his childhood days and how, after moving down here, he was years ahead of the public school children. The same was true for me, we got to rambling about elementary school and I had an memory from 3rd grade rear it’s head into my mind while talking about Ms. Webber (my 3rd grade teacher).

Singing “America the Beautiful” on the morning PA at Sylvain Avenue Elementary School in Blue Point, New York.

Oh man, I couldn’;t believe how I remembered the story so well. Some things come to you with clarity and some things come to you really weakly. This story started out with Ms. Webber getting done with the roll call very early on one morning and having me (and someone else, I think) take it down to the School Nurses office. I was walking real fast trying to make it before the announcements go tot to the Pledge of Allegience but didn’t make it. I started to recite the pledge while walking down the hall. The principle – Mr. White – pulled me into the office because I was being disrepectful by not looking at the flag or something like that (he wasn’t reprimanding me).

Anyway, so the pledge gets finished. We’re still in the office, and immediately after the Pledge they would play a tape of America the Beautiful – which they did. I sang along to it like I always did in class and everyone in the office started looking at me (not kids – the teachers, principle, secretaries, etc). I got finished and Mr. White remarked “Beautiful.” I don’t remember the exact things that happened right after that but they wanted my name and my teacher.

So a couple of mornings later, I had gotten to school and was sitting in class about a few minutes before the morning announcements and the PA came on requesting me to go down to the front office. The class all went “Ooooooooooooh” as third graders would when they thought someone was in trouble. I got up and left. I can’t too clearly if I knew why I was going down there or if I was nervous because maybe I was in trouble? Now that I think about it – I did know what was going on.

I got down there and I sang “America the Beautiful” on the PA. Just like I usually did it in class (though in class I would sing it to myself, not real loudly).

After I got threw, I went back to class… Now, I didn’t enjoy Ms. Webber so much (and if by any chance and elder Ms. Webber finds this journal entry — it wasn’t you that I didn’t enjoy. It was the fact that my parents didn’t deal with me in the proper way when I brought home a notice from your class that I was in trouble. I think I might have been a year too young to be in 3rd grade as well and not focused enough) but on this day I think she had told the kids in class to react when I got back… And they did. I got applauded by them. I hadn’t expected it and it was a real plus.

I had done it a few more times after that. Then they had other people start doing it and it lost it’s mystique. It was real cool for a time though.

Anyway, my friend Kari from the University of Tampa is going to be heading over here soon and we’re going to go out and get her car title and just hang out for a while. Don’t know what is going to go on but I’m sure we’ll find something – and that’s got me worried.

Heavenly Shades of Bombs are Falling / Limbo Time!

I don’t get on people for being spoiled very much – though I think of myself as spoiled in a lot of ways… That’s helped along mostly because I am a pain in the ass and I act like a pain in the ass until I get my way… (current situations are proof positive). There are only a few times where I complain about others being spoiled and I happened upon one of them tonight.

Now, one of my friends goes to private school and they are approaching Spring Break rather fast now. Their private school has a trip set up for the senior class — a trip to Hungary — for Spring Break. That’s quite a senior trip now, ain’t it? I didn’t have one going to public school – I don’t recall anything as special offered from the school to the students.

Now there’s a little situation in Iraq, maybe you heard of it? :rolleyes Just like 9-11, things got changed by that little situation and the trip quote may endquote be off for these kids. Lets see – international crisis that we get to watch through the TV, Europeans and the rest of the world tiring of US arrogance in dealing with the rest of the world, anti-American sentiment spreading… Hmmm, do you think it’s time to cancel that trip to Hungary for safety sake?

So my friend is upset that the trip quote may endquote because of this slight situation in Iraq. I got upset at my friend because they seemed to be oblivious to the situation at hand. I think a lot of Americans are – we have the luxury of being in homes that are wired to the core and news stations beaming us the latest briefings and updates – they also have been avoiding showing us much of the anti-American sentiment abroad and the censors, of course, have also done there job of preventing that from coming to light…. It appears safe from our side of the pond but is it safe?

Going to Europe right now for anyone is a risky proposition and canceling this trip for safety sake is needed. I know it’s a class trip, but it’s really just a HS class trip. There have been plenty of other events in HS that were enjoyed with the senior class. Getting upset over this trip being nixed, though understandable, seems kind of pompous and arrogant and dismissive of the dangers that lurk out there right now and the risk…

Changing subjects I’m in limbo still and I’m feeling better than I have in a while – I’m also in need of some cash more than I have been in a while… I don’t know if I am going to keep feeling ok the next few days/weeks but I do need to find something to do to cover costs. Unfortunately I’m a bit picky at what I do and I’m also a bit clueless as to where to look – where should a hearing impaired guy go to find work? I lucked out with Target back in October when they hired me, but that was just before the busiest season of shopping… There are certain jobs that I think of as “beneath me” but at the same time I don’t even know how long I would be at any given job before …. snip snip.

As for the war – I’m getting sick of all the coverage and how much attention me and my family are paying it. It’s like watching a car wreck – you can’t turn away.

Wall Off Wal-Mart!

Last night I finally got a good night of sleep after tossing and turning all weekend and getting up early. Nice refreshing change back to the norm – me sleeping in….

I went downstairs and I read the newspapers like usual and one of the top stories in the local “North Pinellas Times” section of the St. Petersburg Times simply enraged me. I ought to find something normal to get pissed off about, because politics and business (especially here in Florida) will be the end of me…

You see, Wal-Mart is proposing a new Supercenter along the bank of Lake Tarpon, which is entirely ridiculous. Where the building would be is not more than 10 miles from another Supercenter, nor is it 2 miles from a current Wal-Mart location….

The story’s headline? “Wal-Mart proposal includes traffic signal”…

You mean to tell me that a building that 1) adds to sprawl in North Pinellas, 2) hurts the environment, 3) Paves over a wooded RV Park and D) is useless, should make me feel more comfortable because they would add a TRAFFIC SIGNAL at their entrance point? Give me an f’n break!

I ended up going all out this morning over this – I emailed the stories writer with a complaint that he did not include the information that the proposed store rests only a few thousand feet from another Wal-Mart. I also went out and emailed my County Commissioners expressing displeasure over the proposal which now rests in their hands:

Commissioners:

My name is John Fontana and I’m a Pinellas County resident in North
Pinellas County. What I read in the newspaper today disturbed me and it
also made mention that the County Commission controlled the outcome of this
planned development – so I am emailing you in order to voice my displeasure
and concerns about what has been proposed.

Walk Mart Corporation and Wilder Corp development have proposed a
Supercenter to be built adjacent to Lake Tarpon and U.S. 19 south of
Klosterman Road. While Wilder Corp argues about how the region suffers from
a lack of shopping (which has been their public argument since attempting to
build a Target and Lowe’s Home Improvement center on the property), it does
not seem to take into consideration why people oppose it and why residents
do not like the proposed.

For starters, Wal-Mart has both a Supercenter and a standard Wal-Mart store
within driving distance of the proposed location. It is not a problem for
any resident to drive from Klosterman or points around the area to either
Alderman Road or Oldsmar where the locations of Wal-Mart’s stores are. The
proposed construction also adds more apartments to an already over-saturated
market here in North Pinellas. Innisbrook Resort gutted it’s property to
add hundreds of apartments within the last 5 years, and other Apartment
options surround the area…. Adding a new set of apartments would not just
drive down opposing apartment complexes value, but just continue to add
clutter to the sprawling North Pinellas area.

Another problem with this proposal is environmental impact. Wilder Corp’s
plans would gut it’s wooded RV park and pave over the spot… It would also
disturb the Lake Tarpon ecosystem due to rain run-off that would end up in
the lake from the parking from both the proposed Wal-Mart and also the
proposed apartment’s.

What is to become of the Wal-Mart that is currently located at Alderman Road
and U.S. 19? Would it be vacated and left to be an empty and ugly “box”?
Don’t we already have enough of these in the Bay Area and Pinellas County by
carpet-bagging developers? How much development are we going to allow to
tarnish Lake Tarpon? How many green-spots in Pinellas County are left to be
paved over with additional suburban sprawl? Is Wilder Corp’s vow to pay for
a traffic signal at US 19 and Cypress Pointe supposed to put my mind at ease
that my tax-payer dollars will not be spent on this? If that is the case,
it doesn’t. This development should be stopped in it’s tracks. There are
other uses for the property that are more sound than the current proposal.

That was sent to four of seven County Commissioners… I only pray they don’t just file this away and ignore the complaint.

I’m so sick of backing up and giving ground to large, ominous corporations…. I’ve done it with Sony and Apple Corp LTD…. I’ve bowed to the Corporate structure by getting a minimal job with Target Corp…. What’s next? I have to name my first born Microsoft Fontana in order to get to use Windows XP 2.0? Or have UPC codes tattooed to my skin in order to be able to purchase items from a specific company? Will I have to move because someone wants to build a gas station on my property and the County uses some hidden law to evict me? I want to fight it, I want to lobby against it, I want to protest it… And yet I can’t find many like-minded people near me.