When events lead to self-realization and rolling along while lost at sea

I don’t know what was worse: How the news of Tuesday and the stepping-down of Steve Yzerman laid out one hell of a road bump for the Tampa Bay Lightning in 2018-19 and the general road ahead… or the realization through that event that I’m not a hockey blogger any more.

No, no, it’s not the words I wrote over the weekend that casts my credibility into doubt (if you differ in opinion, oh well, too bad, so sad) as-so-much my reaction to things, my stepping-up and opening my readiness to comment to other bloggers (supply quotes) and such about the news…and not hearing shit back. It was me drawing a conclusion about Julien BriseBois getting an assistant GM hire on Wednesday and then finding out (from fans) that wasn’t in the plans and it had been stated in articles and in tweets from members of the media.

The guy who had been the original blogger of Tampa Bay Lightning hockey, lasting for 12 years while founding SB Nation site Raw Charge in the process, was ready to roll and yet so very, very out of the loop.

Not entirely out of the loop. The news of defenseman Erik Karlsson being traded to the San Jose Sharks is breaking as I tap-tappity-tap-tap this blog post out, and I know full damn well that this was a sought-after acquisition for multiple clubs (including Tampa Bay) since last season. I know some Lightning fans might say Yzerman’s departure is what cost the Bolts the defenseman. This writer will roll his eyes at that decree and also feel thankful that the Lightning didn’t gut the system in the name of an attempted cherry-on-top acquisition of the contract-year defenseman.

I’m in a state of know, I’m just not in a place to be looked upon as a sought-after source for news, insight or opinion on the Lightning any more. Maybe I’ll write reaction observations and such? Oh, yeah, I do. I’m just not the guy any more. And it sucks in a way. It fills me with self doubt. It’s part of the reason why I wrote the poem Flailing Credence yesterday and actually published the thing (not that people seek my poetry and prose either, and I’ve been doing those works for a very, very long time).

In short, that ship has sailed and I’m lost at sea.

Last October I termed things up pretty well after I regained my version of hearing. It was a new day, the sun was rising and things were starting anew. Only problem is, I haven’t found a path forward yet. Not truly.

If you review my writing here on the NHL, I’ve sounded off about the Buccaneers, I’ve penned more than a few words on the Dotard in Covfefe and his presidency, I’ve touched on movies from the past, and I’ve dabbled in music here and there.

It’s accomplished jack.

I’m feeling down and out of it. The fact I’m writing a personal blog post and not an article about this-and-that is a sign of things because my lost-course was part of what started my life as a blogger. Go way back through the category The Life and you’ll see a different voice from me, a different writing habit and perspective…no, wait, not the perspective. I’m still a smartass and what have you. I just write differently now. Credit that to experience.

It’s not like I have a career or a work opportunity. The avenues that lay before me are all voluntary because I couldn’t land a paying role doing some of the things I have done (…which would land a paying role for others who aren’t dealing with impairments and disabilities). I’m … just … here.

So, Yzerman stepped down and may or may not be back as a member of the Detroit Red Wings organization before July 1, 2019. Erik Karlsson was traded for a bounty from the San Jose Sharks and made San Jose the landing spot for a marquee property that had been on the trade market. Donald Trump remains unqualified in politics and yet revered by some simply because he’s a Republican…

…And John Fontana continues to float at sea without a ship to give him course and purpose.