Give a shit? Please…?

I don’t want to get gross and get on the “Too Much Information” brigade, but I have a request for anyone who stumbles across Der Stonegauge –

Can I have a shit?

Can you please lend me a shit?

Yes, I am looking for a give-a-shit crowd. I don’t mean I want you to send me a turd but, um, maybe warm wishes that I take a turd.

You see, I am supposed to be built like Ghandi at any given time and my guts are supposed to be spilled at normal intervals when I take meetings on the thrown in my bathroom. Well, you see, I haven’t had that male pleasure for something more than 3 weeks now….

I could give a shit, really…. I mean, I really need to give a shit…. But alas, that seems beyond me right now.

Sure I was hospitalized for days on end…. Sure, they had me drugged to deal with this stuff, and I don’t want to go into detail about that….

I didn’t have shit for them, however.

So, here I am, constipated and bloated and generally pissed off and in pain (thank god for drugs) and just out of it in one way or another asking my dear readers to send me shit greetings and such. Excrete what well wishes you can, and all that jazz.

I think I am going to be sick.

If only I could have shit happen….