Tag Archives: facebook
I tend to be a wise ass when I set a status message on Facebook, or I’ll play around with pop culture, or music, or share small, small things in a very unclear way. It part of it is me trying to draw attention and yet also have positive interaction with friends. Talking about private issues in truth and honesty, as a guy, is going to just lead to complaints / mockery from guy friends.
It can also piss you off as hypocrites participate in comments.
Monday morning I dropped on to Facebook and one of the top status messages currently going on my timeline was a female friend telling a personal story tied to….bathroom stall graffiti. My friend is divorced, still trying to move on in life after the divorce (the marriage ended abusively). Between that status, written at sometime around 2 AM, and other thoughts dangling in my mind in recent days, I put up a very personalized status of my own – a little generalized and grandiose but the message was honest:
“Why is it the most mundane and yet immense social destination of life, love, is a journey that fails so completely for me? It’s an adventure with someone that just never materializes into the joint trip.”
A private status just went public, why? Because of the response I got. See, with a status like that you’d think to either be hands off or encouraging. That’s private and personal. What I got was a dense, reactionary reply from someone who had been who I had a very stunted journey with when it comes to love. Someone who was alienated by life, had long interest in me, and who threw it all away. We’ll put it that way. Someone who’s twice married and who slept around before, during, and after marriage:
“Love is elusive. You won’t find it if you are looking for it.”
That’d be a profound remark if the responder did not have ties to my statement, as someone I failed the journey with. And I’d willingly open up a conversation on the point – that I had some great leads when I was least looking for romance – if she wasn’t an example; an example of one, who wasn’t elusive but who dropped the entire idea when it was least convenient.
Love isn’t elusive. It’s too easy for some to find to be considered that way. The fact I hear of marriage and babies from so many friends of both genders I’ve known (some of whom I’ve been attached to) is counter to the notion of elusiveness. Even dating that lasts more than a single or few nights, or lustful romances that come and go… That’s something more than what I’m experiencing.
The only thing elusive is what path I have to take to actually find myself in a mutual romantic involvement without being taken for granted or used for the moment. Someone who wants to take the trip in life with me and someone I want right by my side for the trip.
A little more than three years ago, I wrote a quick post about friends from my childhood in New York and Sylvain Avenue Elementary School. I invoked a few names in said post without thinking anyone would… well, you know, come across the dang thing. It’s just one web page, one blog post, out of millions and billions of web pages on the interweb, right?
OK, I’m lying. I knew that there was a high chance someone would come across the post, but the question remained if they would, and who it would be, and how they’d react.
Flash forward to a Saturday night in the autumn of 2007 and an email, sent through this site, from one of my long lost friends who I referenced. A year of conversation with them later and the posting of my 4th-grade-class-picture later led me to get back in touch with quite a few people. I don’t want to reference them by full name here as I am guilty enough of name-dropping in the past in order to get facts straight… But I’ve gotten back in touch with long lost friends who I had known since Kindergarden, I’ve gotten back in touch with shorter-term friends who I had known from 3rd grade on…
It’s almost scary about the amount of re-connecting that’s transpired through Facebook for me. It’s also heartwarming to know I was not flat-out forgotten by people after I left New York.